UPJOKE

Turning 40 Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet
at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive.
The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.

Ten years ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the best part about turning 40?

My mom can’t get down stairs so well anymore so I can finally jerk off in peace.

Today I'm turning 40 but I feel so proud of my 20yr old slim body ...

And if you don't believe me go check my freezer.

Turning 40

When my best friend turned 40, I sent him a CD in the mail: UB40.


2 months later, on my 40th, I received a CD in the mail from him: U2.

I'm turning 40 soon, and my wife told me she is getting me four T-shirts for my birthday.

I asked her "why?"

She said, "because you're going to be in your 4 T's."

So my Mom was turning 40...

..And Dad started making jokes about taking her down to the used wife lot and trading her in for two Twenty year olds.

Mom's reaction? "You're not wired for 220."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A middle aged man is turning 40 and he's feeling severely depressed,

so he decides he'll treat himself to a prostitute. He and his companion for the evening retire to a motel room and he sits down on the side of the bed. The john starts untying his shoes and eventually slips off his socks.

In utter shock, the lady of the night gasps and says "What the fuck is ...

A Jewish man is turning 40 years old...

So his mother decides to send him 2 neckties. On his birthday, she calls him.

"Happy Birthday, son!" "Thanks, mom." Replies the man.

"Did you get the ties I sent you?" Asks his mother. "Yes," says the man, "in fact I'm wearing one right now." "So what's wrong with the other one?"

A Group of Guys Were All Turning 30...

A group of guys were all turning 30, so they decided to go somewhere and celebrate. After some discussion, they finally settled on TJ's Tavern over in Summersville, because the prices were good and it stayed open late.

Ten years later, they were all turning 40, and they thought it might be fu...

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