UPJOKE

Turned Down Jokes

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I got turned down from my job interview for coming half an hour early

The porn industry can go fuck themselves for all I care.

In breaking news, Triple Crown winner Justify has turned down an invitation to White House.

When asked why he answered, “If I wanted to see a horse’s ass, I would have finished second.”

My 6th grade teacher, Miss Parkman, told me I'd never make it as a writer and said to find a career that wasn't so challenging. Well, 30 years later, after being turned down by almost every publisher on the planet, I'm thrilled to be able to announce that ...

... I heard Miss Parkman died.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Derby winner Medina Spirit turned down an invite to Mira Lago...

...saying if he wanted to see a horse's ass he would have come in second.

I turned down a job to work in a coal mine.

It's beneath me.

I once turned down a farm job because it called for haulin’ oats.

I told them, “I can’t go for that.”

This is my friend’s joke - original, supposedly. Posting it here for feedback.

Just turned down a job offer to work in Seoul.

I think it would be a bad Korea move.

Why was OJ Simpson turned down for the role of Thanos?

The glove didn’t fit.

I just turned down a girl because of the colour of her skin.

Can't be dealing with her terrible fake tan.

I asked a emo girl out yesterday but got turned down.

She's probably just waiting for her prince harming.

I've just turned down a job delivering for my local fruit and veg shop.

They offered to pay me in vegetables, but the celery was unacceptable.

The daycare turned down my job application.

Probably because I described myself as "a touchy-feely kind of guy"

I saw a TV for sale for 1$

I saw that the TV was in very good condition.

"Why is it so cheap? " I asked the seller

"The volume is stuck at max, and it can't be turned down" he replied

"So everything else works?" I asked

He turned it on, and sure enough everything worked, except the volume

...

Did you hear about the acting role Nicolas Cage turned down?

Neither has he

i once turned down a job as a fog machine operator

it was a mist opportunity

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why'd the prostitute get turned down for the office position she applied for?

Cuz she sucked at her last job.

i was turned down by an eskimo girl

she wasn't Inuit and had a hundred words for no

I bet Ivanka Trump actually turned down a position in President Trump's cabinet

I mean how many women would feel comfortable working for a man who said they would screw their daughter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blind man's big penis

A blind man was always turned down by women because of his disability. He knew one thing though, that he had an abnormally large erection. Knowing he couldn't successfully have a relationship, and use his hammer properly, he asked one of his dear friends to bring him to "pleasure palace", a local se...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy gets turned down by every girl he approaches in the bar (NSFW)

Since closing time is only minutes away, he heads outside trying to figure how he won't have to spend the night alone. He sees a local street walker up the road, and decides to pick her up. They check into a rent by the hour motel, wasting no time getting to business. The man stops his new lady frie...

TIL that Sir Paul McCartney once turned down nearly $64 million to appear on an American talk show because he wanted to stay home and watch his favorite sport on TV.

It was *Ellen* or rugby.

What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

Did you hear about the homeless artist who got turned down in his submission for a classic string toy rebranding?

It was a no-go hobo yo-yo logo.

he's not all bad: after an 12 hour shift at a local food kitchen, mayor Rob Ford selflessly turned down a hot meal.

"I've got more than enough to eat at home"

Husband and wife are in a bar when the wife sees her ex boyfriend

She says to her husband, ‘see that drunk, I turned down his proposal 10 years ago.
Husband looks at his wife, looks at the guy and sighs, ‘that explains why he is still celebrating’

James Bond retired and turned down a knighthood in England to live in Afghanistan where he became one of the most important men in the middle east.

Turns out he wanted to be Sheikh'en, not Sirred.

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