UPJOKE

Trying Hard Jokes

Trying hard to help people lose weight

But they keep finding it on the dollar menu.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of four-year-olds were trying hard to become accustomed to school.

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!

"You need to use 'big people' words," she was always reminding them. "John, what did you do over the weekend?"

"I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'big people' word...

The restaurant in Paris

Two retired couples are having dinner together.
The meal was pretty good, but one of the men said that it's nothing compared to the best steak he ever had at a small brasserie in Paris.
"Which one, do you remember the name?" Asked his friend.
Scratching his head and trying hard to recall, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A wife asks her husband, "Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?" "No" said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a silky bra, and pulled out a crumpled twenty-dollar bill.

He took the crumpled twenty-dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.

She then asked him...

Doctor Doctor

A newly graduated doctor opened a clinic with a novel idea to bring in patients. If he were able to solve the patient’s problem he would charge them $500. However, if he couldn’t treat the patient, he would give them $1,000.


The new doctor was soon making more money than the old doctor’s ...

My dad has taken to walking the streets of our neighborhood dressed as a nun.

We're trying hard to get him out of the habit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was sitting at the bar one night... (LONG)

I was seated at the bar and had just ordered another drink, when a woman sat down in the stool next to me. She ordered her drink, and then looked down and started checking her phone.

My drink came, and then hers. She put away her phone and took a long drink, and then turned to me and said "yo...

Something nice happened to me today.

I'm a huge metal fan in high school. During math class, a beautiful girl sat next to me. She turned me on so much but she didn't notice me though. I tried really hard to impress her and she is hot.

Now the teacher is passing back the last week's test. She looks at me and she starts smiling a...

Had an argument with my mom

Trying hard to tell my mom that my son is better looking then her son!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Forgetful...

A young guy was trying hard to get a young lady to go out with him. She eventually agreed, and the pair had a good night out.

They wanted to see each other again so she said, "Why don't you ring me in a few days and we'll go out again?"

He agreed but warned her that he was dreadful at ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.