As the stranger enters a country store, he spots a sign: "Danger! Beware of Dog!" Inside, he sees a harmless old hound asleep in the middle of the floor.
"Is that the dog we’re supposed to beware of?" he asks the owner.
"That’s him," comes the reply.
"He doesn’t look dangerous t...
How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they’re too busy screaming that God gave them eyes and tripping over each other in the dark.
It was cold and pouring with rain, but the boy's mother insisted he go to the barn and feed the animals before he could have breakfast.
The boy went out in a dark rage, kicked the chickens, punched the cow and threw water all over the pigs.
When he got back inside his mother was furious.
"How dare you!" she fumed. "I saw what you did! You get no eggs because you kicked the chickens, no milk because you thumped the cow ...
Jack woke up at home with a terrible hangover and black eye.
The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: “Dear, breakfast is made. I’ve gone shopping to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!”
He stumbles to the kitchen and, sure enough, there’s breakfast. “Joe,” he says to his son, “what happened la...
Three men died and ended up in heaven...
They were greeted by a saint who told them, "You can stay here happily for all of eternity... as long as you don't step on a duck." The men all agreed to not step on any ducks and they went on their way.
The first man only lasted a couple of hours before he ended up tripping over a duck. The...
A man stumbles out of a bar just before closing time.
An officer was already outside, waiting for drink-drivers. She watches as the man nearly trips down the stairs outside the bar, stagger over to his car, and fumble in his pocket for his keys.
Looks like I've got one, the officer thinks to herself.
15 minutes later, closing time finally...
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