UPJOKE

Tree Fell Jokes

When I was a boy a tree fell on my bedroom and crushed it. I complained to my dad but he had no sympathy.

“You always wanted a treehouse,” he replied.

A tree fell and destroyed a quarter of my roof yesterday.

oof

A tree fell on my brother today, completely crushing his left side.

He’s all right.

What did the man say when the tree fell on him?

"SON OF A BIRCH"

A tree fell on our car during the recent Hurricane, and my dad won't get it repaired. He even named the damage.

Harvey Dent

A tree fell on a family's house and killed everybody.

It was rootless.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Sexism warning) Yesterday a tree fell on a woman and killed her.

What was a tree doing in the kitchen?

There were 3 brothers: Little Snowflake, Little Leaf, and Little Brick...

So one day Little Snowflake goes up to his mum and asks her:
- Why am I called like this?
- Because when you were born, a Snowflake fell on your forehead
So Lil' Snowie all excited goes up to his brothers and tells them that they should ask what about their names, so Little Leaf goes up to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rabbi Eliezer was the most brilliant Rabbi of all time...

Nevertheless, his fellow Rabbis would often disagree with his opinions, leading to lengthy philosophical and theological debates.

During one debate on the subject of the legal minutiae of a religious ritual he found himself at odds with three of his colleagues. While everyone recognized that ...

Mr. Johnson wanted to get rid of a redwood tree in his backyard, so he put an ad in the paper asking for a lumberjack to get rid of the tree. Many lumberjacks tried to cut down the tree, but they all failed.

One day, a very skinny man with a plastic spoon knocked on Mr. Johnson's door. "I would like to try to cut down your tree," he said.

"With just that plastic spoon?" gasped Mr. Johnson.

"Yes," said the skinny man. The two of them went to the backyard, and the skinny man tapped the redwo...

1, 2, 3

I've noticed a trend of people translating jokes from their own language and I decided to give it a try.

Daughter comes up to her mom for a marriage advice: "I'm always arguing with my husband... You and dad have been married for over 30 years and I've never seen You both fight. What's your s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walked into a pub...

He asked for a beer and sat down to drink. A minute later, a man came and sat next to him and introduced himself as Jerry. Jerry asked the man if he wanted to hear a story. The man nodded in reply. ‘I built this pub’, Jerry started, ‘with my bare hands, wood and nails, but do they call me Jerry the ...

Woman and her Cat

What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat?

Nothing, she just stood there with a sour puss

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