UPJOKE
vehiclecarryferrydisplaceshippingshipfreightcargotransportationmovebusinfrastructurerailwaysendtruck

Transported Jokes

A man dies and is waiting to be transported to heaven

He asks Death about what happens next. Death replies "YOU WERE A GOOD MAN ON EARTH , YOU WILL GO TO HEAVEN , WHERE YOU WILL ENJOY ETERNAL YOUTH , YOU CAN DO BASICALLY ANYTHING YOU WANT , ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES ". The man thinks to himself, "that's wonderful", and settles down for the journey....

Did you know some vegetables are nevee transported by sea?

Because having a leek in the boat would be very bad.

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.

The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.”

The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?” so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the ki...

There are 500 bricks being transported by plane...

One brick falls out. How many are left?
499

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in the fridge?
Open the door, insert the elephant, close the door.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in the fridge?
Open the door, remove the elephant, insert the giraffe, close the...

A politician dies...

...and ends up at the pearly gates. St. Peter looks at him and finds his name in his book.

"So, you're a politician..."

"Well, yes. Is there a problem?"

"Oh no, there is no problem. But we have a policy for people in your profession, you have to spend a day each in heaven and he...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three prisoners are being transported to the prison where they will spend the rest of their lives. On the way there they have a chat about the things they're taking with them.

The first prisoner says:

- I've got a drawing kit. When I'm behind bars, I want to spend the rest of my life making art.

The second says:

- I've got cards. Now I can play stuff like poker, blackjack or bridge.

The third one says:

- And I've got a box of tampons....

Carobs grow on carob trees in warm climates. They are frequently transported to other regions by air.

Usually by pilots of the carob bean.

a hole in the street

There's a big hole in a street that caused so many accidents and a lot of deaths; the mayor held a meeting with the most intelligent people of the neighborhood to discuss solutions for this problem

the first suggests putting an ambulance next to the hole, so whenever an accident hap...

Three men were stranded on a desert island, and they found a magic lamp.

Three men were stranded on a desert island, and they found a magic lamp. When they rubbed the lamp, a genie appeared and offered them each one wish.
The first man said, "I wish I were rich and famous."

The genie granted his wish, and he was suddenly transported to Hollywood, where he becam...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This dude dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter sees him show up and says “Holy shit, you’re the first person that’s ever come up here that’s exactly at 50% good and 50% evil. Not sure if I should send you to Heaven or Hell. This is crazy. Tell you what, since you’re exactly even I’m gonna let you choose”.

The dude says “Oh, wow...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The earthquake

There was an earthquake, and the Christian Brothers Monastery was leveled.

All fifty brothers were transported to Heaven at one time.

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter said

\- "Let's go through the entry test as a group. How many of you have played around with little boys?"
...

An elderly couple were on vacation in Israel

While they were there the wife suddenly dies of a heart attack.

A local mortitian explains the husband that it would cost him 100$ to bury her in Israel but it would cost him 3.000$ to have her transported to America tp have her buried at home.

The husband thinks about it for a while a...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.