UPJOKE

Too Many People Jokes

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What was ruined because too many people started doing it?

Sex with my girlfriend.

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People have told me that I have hired too many people for my business.

I said not to worry because I'm seeing 14 therapists about it.

What is it called when too many people pass gas inside of a mine?

An excess stench hole crisis.

I have a problem of hiring too many people for my business, and I finally decided to do something about it.

I am seeing three psychiatrists.

Too many people are obsessing over Frozen.

They need to let it go

I often used to jokingly say that there are too many people, we need a new plague.

This current one is just not working.

Jesus sees that planet earth is going to Hell in a hand basket because too many people are using something called drugs...

He wishes to know about this, so he calls His Apostles and tells them that they all have to go down to Earth to see for themselves what is going on and then come back to Heaven and report back to Him.

The Apostles go to different places on Earth and after some time, they come back to report w...

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So a Japanese company and a North American company decided to have a canoe race...

So a Japanese company and a North American company decided to have a canoe race on the St. Lawrence River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The North Americans, very discouraged and depressed, deci...

Trojan just had to fire several employees.

Too many people were late.

God notices heaven is getting a bit crowded

So he sits down with St Peter and says
“Look, too many people are getting in. As of tomorrow at 12pm, no one is getting in unless they’ve had a really bad day”

Peter nods, and the next day he sits down at the pearly gates when a man arrives

“Hi sir, welcome to heaven, hey new rules....

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To prevent the spread of germs, people have been told to sneeze into their upper arm. Instead, people have been stockpiling toilet paper.

This upholds the long standing belief that too many people don't know their arse from their elbow.

I went to a joke party last night

Too many people were there; I couldn't even reach the punch line.

With this whole virus pandemic, I think it’s become clear we need to get rid of certain races for potentially spreading the virus.

Like the Tour de France for example. Too many people standing right next to each other. Can’t be too cautious these days...

Hang-glider

Here in Kentucky, you don't see too many people hang-gliding.

Ol' Zeek decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight.

He takes off running and reaches the edge--into the wind he goes!
<...

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My massage therapist got fired ...

I guess she rubbed too many people the wrong way

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Two firms had a row competition

A Japanese and a Finnish company decided to have 2km row competition as a publicity stunt. Both teams trained long and hard. Competition came and Japanese won by 1km.
Finnish companys leadership was shocked. But in this major crisis the leadership showed its value: They wanted to have new compet...

Why'd they take all the telephones out of China?

Too many people calling the Wong number

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Sherlock Holmes died

Sherlock Holmes died, and went to heaven.

Apostle Peter stands at the gate and asks him:

\- Who are you?

\- I'm the best detective in the world.

\- Alright then go and find me Adam and Eve in paradise , because there are too many people, and I can't find them.
...

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Did you hear they had to shutdown Japan's first virtual reality porn exhibition?

Too many people came.

So my friend absolutely will not, cannot carpool.

He just flat out refuses to carpool. He has this irrational fear that if he carpools and the car crashes in a tunnel, he'll be trapped because there are too many people in the car.

It's called Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.

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Gods new reqirement to get into heaven.

God goes to Saint Peter and says "Pete there are too many people in heaven. I never expected this, so we need to add a new rule. The rule is that in order to get in you need to have had a really bad day the day you died. Got it?"
"Yes Sir" Peter replied.
With that God left and Peter called the...

God wants to go on vacation...

He's sitting in his throne room, boredly surveying the Earth, wondering where in his name he could go to. So he calls in St. Peter to give gimme some suggestions.

St. Peter gives it some thought and says, "Well, how about the rest of heaven? You haven't gotten a good look of it since you made...

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Two men are in a mental hospital

They are in the same room together, bored shitless they pace up and down the room looking for something to do.

Man 1 says "Oh I know! Why don't we play shop keepers! I'll be the shop keeper and you be the customer."

Man 2 says "that's a great idea."
And so man 1 sits down a desk and...

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