UPJOKE

Tongue Out Jokes

Did you know that you can't breathe with your tongue out?

Pull your tongue back, you look like a donkey.

An engineer had a sign in front of his clinic that said, "Medical consultation for only $50. If I can't make you better, I will pay you $100."

A doctor, knowing he can stump the engineer and wanting to get some cash, goes straight to the engineer. "Hey," he says. "I lost my sense of taste. I can't taste any food anymore."

The engineer takes a small bottle from his drawer, told the doctor to take his tongue out, and put 15 drops of t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TIL it's impossible to stick your tongue out and look up at the same time

Without looking like a twat

Why did Albert Einsten stick his tongue out in one of his iconic photos?

At the peak of his career he took matters lightly.

A guy was standing in line at a pharmacy...

and overheard the person in front of him purchase a box of suppositories. Not knowing what they were and unwilling to show his ignorance by asking, he decided to buy a box himself.

Upon arriving home he opened the box, slipped out one of the sheets and pressed out one suppository from the foi...

I saw a Dwarf who had escaped from prison climbing over a chain link fence. As he was climbing down the other side he scowled and stuck his tongue out at me and ran away...

I said to myself "That was a little condescending"

Buying a shoe

A man walks into a shoe store...

...and tries on a pair of shoes.

\- "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.

\- "Well ... they feel a bit tight." replies the man.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the mans feet.

\- "Try pulling the...

Just saw A blonde running down the street.

She had an arm full of chicken tikka masala.

I think she got mixed up when her friend said,

today we are going to rob Curry's.

For Americans and other English Tongue out there.

( Curry's in England is an electrical store.)

A man walks into the Doctor's

"Doctor, Doctor! I've got a sore throat."

The doctor goes,
"I know how to fix this, stand by the window and stick your tongue out."

The man complies and stands by the window for a good 5 to 10 minutes sticking his tongue out before he can't stand it anymore.

"Doctor, t...

I was in a shoe shop today trying out a new pair of sneakers

I said to the assistant, ‘It’s too tight’.

She said, ‘Try it with the tongue out.’

I said, ‘It’th nho ghood, it’th thtill thoo thigh!’

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there was this horny chicken who loved to fuck!

His owner was so sick of him, he finally sold him to a poultry farm.

Within a day of arriving he fucked each and every hen available there..

The new owner was shocked by the sight of it.

Next day he found the horny chicken has fucked each and every pig available at the farm!...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Lazy Cats

So on one summer day 3 neighborhood cats gather in the alley to determine who's the laziest among them all. This first proudly begins speaking, "Well the other day my old man poured a whole bowl of milk for me. Stuck my face in there and all there was left for me to do is stick my tongue out... But ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.