UPJOKE

To 10 Jokes

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What organ can expand to 10 times it's size...

What organ can expand to 10 times it's size...

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"

No one answered so the teacher picked on a random student

Little Mary stood up and said, "You shoul...

- In a scale 1 to 10, how much do you like to argue?

\- Would it be possible to make the scale from 1 to 20?

\- No

\- Why not?!

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A gas station owner in Arkansas was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read: *** "FREE SEX w/fill-up ... just guess the right number between 1 & 10.” ***

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and asked for his FREE SEX.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his FREE SEX.
The redneck guessed ‘8’. The proprietor said, "You were close. The number was ‘7’. Sorry, but no FREE SEX thi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me and my german girlfriend like to rate our sex from 1 to 10

Last night we tried anal and she kepted yelling nine, best score i've gotten so far

finally memorized the digits og Pi up to 10 digits.

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

But sadly i dont know the order.

From 1 to 10 how do you rate your capacity to adapt to new technologies

IV

Count to 10

Scientists recently did a study on the effects the right side and left side of a brain had on counting. They first took out the left half of a man's brain and asked him to count to 10.
He says, "2, 4, 6, 8, 10".
They put the left half back in and removed the right half, asking him to count to ...

Doctor, on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is this tumor?

Doctor: "I'd say it's be-nine."

Patient: "Hahaha"

Doctor: "Hahahaha"

Patient: "Haha"

Doctor: "You have a month to live."

They say you can spend christmas with up to 10 people without problems...

But who knows 10 people without problems.

A guy is sentenced to 10 years in prison for murder

A guy is sentenced to 10 years in prison for murder.

Prior to his incarceration, he worked on a farm helping his father dig and prepare the land for plants.

His father wrote to him:” Oh, how I miss when you were here to help me prepare the fields. Now I must do everything alone.”
...

Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek together

Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek together.

It's Einstein's turn to count, and he closes his eyes. After counting to 10, Pascal runs away and hides.

Newton, on the other hand, very calmly draws a square on the ground, 1 meter on each side, in front of the place that Einste...

On the scale of attractiveness from 1 to 10 I’m a 6 at Trader Joe’s.

But I’m a strong 8 at Walmart.

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that...

If I had to eat a number from 0 to 10, I would eat 5.

I’ve heard it’s median delicious.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree?

1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

Why can't Jamaicans count to 10?

Because there's a *tree* in the way!

So, I asked my German grandfather hoe racist he was, scale of 1 to 10

He said "NEIN!"

Blonde Wife

One winter morning during breakfast a husband and wife in Northern Minnesota were listening to the radio.

They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."
...

Why does it go from Windows 8 to 10?

Because Windows 7 8 9

What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

How do you induce a current in a wire by counting to 10?

By mathematical induction.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how confused are you?

"On a scale from 1 to 10, how confused are you?"


"17"


"10 is already the highest".


"The highest of what?"


"The scale"



"Which scale?"


"How confused you are!"


"Oh right, 17."

How does Rudy Giuliani count to 10?

He doesn't; he skips 1-8 and says 9-11 ten times.

Studies have found that if women sleep for 8 to 10 hours daily, there is a significant decrease in hypertension and diabetes…

In their husbands!

The programmer's wife asked him how much he loved her from 1 to 10

He said -2,147,483,647. She was very angry, even though he explained that it was a love overflow.

(NSFW) a 1990 Kinsey Institute report states that 5 to 10 percent of the U.S. population engages in sadomasochism at least an occasional basis.

That's a rough estimate

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A redneck birth control

After having the 10th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough since they could not afford another kid.

So the husband went to his doctor and told him the he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy th...

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