UPJOKE

Through Thick And Thin Jokes

The first female president

The year is 2028 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Sarah Goldstein.

She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"

"I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor said to me he'll be with me through thick and thin, even when shit hits the fan

Needless to say he's a good gastroenterologist

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman apply to join MI6

The Englishman comes in for his interview and it goes really well, he has a glowing record in the Army and is a perfect fit for the job.

At the end the interviewer asks him "Who do you love more, your country or your wife?"

The Englishman replies "My country of course!"

"OK" say...

Why did the CEO of Ubisoft get divorced last week?

Yves Guillemot is reported to have asked his now ex-wife, "Baby, we've been through thick and thin. I'm the CEO of a multi-million dollar company, why are you leaving me?"

The ex-wife responds, "Everything is perfect, except in the bedroom. You be soft."

I'd like to thank my hands...

I'd like to thank my hands for always being at my side, my legs for supporting me through thick and thin, and my fingers... Because I can always count on them.

Faithful Wife

On the occasion of their 50th Anniversary, a man asked his wife, "Honey, you have been with me through thick and thin, and gave me constant love and support, however I just have to know whether you have actually been faithful to me all this time."

To which the wife replies, "To be honest, I h...

You should all be ashamed of making fun of Jonah Hill.

The guy’s been through thick and thin.

Just fyi, if you're girlfriend asks you if she should lose some weight...

"I love you through thick and thin" is not an appropriate response.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Respect and Blowjobs

A girl and boy meet in high school and fall in love. They do everything together and eventually lose their virginity to one another, but the girl refuses to give him a blowjob. "I'm sorry," she says. "I love you so much and I'd do anything else in the world for you, but I'm afraid you'd lose resp...

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