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Three Friends Jokes

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Three friends were bragging about who has the most sex. The first guy starts, “Y'all ain't got nothing on me! I can go to any bar and bring home a new woman every night! Not only that, but I drive a corvette and have an 8 inch penis! I've slept with more than 1,000 women!”

Second guy fires back, “Oh yeah? Well I’m a top gynecologist at the highest rated hospital in the world. I make $800,000 a year, have patients and nurses who have sex with me every hour I’m at work. All the women compliment me on my 12 inch penis and I've slept with well over 5,000 women.”
...

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.

The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and ...

Three friends, a turtle, a mole and a bear are drafted and have to join the army.

But neither of them want to go, so they need to provide medical proof why they can’t join.

“It’s easy for me”, says the turtle “I am slow.”He enters the examination room and when he comes out, he happily tells his friend that he is in fact too slow.

“Well”, says the mole next, “I am ...

Three friends die and go to heaven...

Three friends die and go to heaven. When they reach the Pearly Gates, St. Peter greets them, giving them the usual spiel that everyone gets when they're about to enter, and as they are walking in he says " By the way, I almost forgot the new rule. Whatever you do, don't step on a duck." The three fr...

Three friends die and go to heaven...

When they get to the gate saint peter says, "Hi, welcome to heaven. You're going to have a great time. We only have one rule in heaven, and that is to never, ever, no matter what, step on a duck."

"Ducks?"

"Yes, if you do, you will receive a terrible punishment. You may enter."
So...

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Three friends attending Duke were taking Chemistry, and were confident that going into the final they had a solid A.

They were so confident that the weekend before the final they decided to go up to U Virginia and party with some friends up there.

They had a great time, but were so hung-over that they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until late Monday morning.

They rushed to...

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Once upon a time there were three friends

Once upon a time there were three friends who had three addictions.

One was a smoker, one was an alcoholic, and the other, a sex addict.

Since their addictions were beginning to be detrimental to each other's health, they decided to see a doctor. Once in the doctor's office, the doctor...

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Three friends are fishing when a crocodile comes ashore and grants them three wishes...

The first friend says "I wish I could catch a huge marlin"

The crocodile swims away for a moment, then comes back.
The friend then pulls in a massive marlin.

"Amazing!" Says the second friend "Well you know what? I wish I were rich"

The crocodile then swims underwater and fet...

A guy died and his three friends all owed him $100 each

1st and 2nd friends both put $100 on his coffin and declared repayment even in death. 3rd guy wrote a check for $300 and took the $200 change.

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Three friends explore a cave

While in the cave, the friends find a genie’s lamp. Of course, as anyone in this situation would do, they excitedly rub the lamp. The genie of the lamp pours forth in a cloud of magical smoke.


The genie begins his spiel: “Gentlemen, for summoning me forth from the lamp, I shall give each...

Once, there were three friends named Ralph Rock, Pete Paper, and Steve Scissors.

All three of them were very interested in politics. In fact, they made a pact that someday, one of them would by the president of the United States.

Ralph Rock worked very hard to build relationships with the community and gain the trust of the people. Pete Paper used the press to attack his ...

Three friends are sitting around talking about their boyfriends

The first girl says to the other two, “let’s play a game and say a drink that we like that our boyfriends remind us of. I’ll go first. My boyfriend is like sprite; he’s light and bubbly and sooo refreshing after my last couple relationships.”

The second girl says “ok, umm… mine would be a che...

Three friends are stranded on a small island

After a few weeks with no hope of rescue, they come across a lamp in the sand. They pick it up, and poof! out comes a genie.

"Thank you for releasing me from my thousand years of imprisonment. I will now grant each of you a wish," says the genie.

The first guy says, "Well, I have a wif...

Three friends married women from different parts of the world…

The first man married a Greek woman. He told her that she was to do the dishes and clean the house. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and the dishes washed and put away…

The second man married a Thai woman. He gave his wife orders that she was to...

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Three Friends Goes On A Hunting Trip.

3 friends are on a hunting trip in the woods. After a successful day, they brought a buck back to their camp to field dress. They then proceed to get drunk and are having a all around good time. One of the hunters announces that he has to take a shit, so he shuffles off into the woods for privacy. S...

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The lore of a genie atop a cliff prompts three friends to climb up.

As they climb, they discuss their wishes.

Dick wants to become a famous musician and travel the world.

Harry wants fabulous wealth and a long healthy life.

Tom wants to be a bird and fly to Mexico.

As he reaches the top, Tom sees the magic lamp first and scrambles to pic...

Three friends are out fishing, having a competition to see who can catch the biggest fish.

The first guy says “Ill use worms as bait, surely this will catch the largest fish. My dad was a fisherman for all of his life, and taught me all of his tricks to catching the biggest fish. There is no possible way you guys can beat me.”

The second guy bursts out laughing. “You expect to catc...

Three friends die and go to heaven...

and meet God at the gate. God tells them that he will give them cars to drive into heaven, but first they have to tell him how many times they cheated on their wives, and they shouldn't bother lying because he has a big record book of every person's actions.

God turns to the first man and ask...

Mr. Chu, Du, and Fu were three friends from China that wanted to come to the US.

In order to get a visa, they were told they needed a more “American” name.

So, Chu became Chuck,

Du became Duck,

And Fu,

... well, Fu remained in China.

So three friends met up for the holidays,

The first two are waiting on the third when one says to the other:

"Hey, I made you a song for Christmas!" and then starts beat-boxing this amazing tune. It's got great rhyme & rhythm, and the other guy is blown away.

A little later the third friend shows up, and the second one sa...

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There were once three friends who were absolutely inseparable in high school.

They did everything together. You could not find one without the other two nearby. But, as so often happens, after graduation, they all went their separate ways. One of the friends went on to become a very successful defense attorney. Top of his class at Harvard Law, opened his own firm, made everyo...

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Three friends finally get to the top of the mountain where the wise man lives.

The wise man says to the first "go heal yourself". She said "Wow. You're right. Did you know I was a physician?"

The wise man said to the second "go teach yourself". He replied, "That is profound. Did you know I was a teacher?"

The 3rd friend angrily starts to walk away. "What's wrong?...

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Three friends are chatting, drinking beer...

The first one says: "lately, I only have sex with my wife once a month..."
The second: "me--once a week..."
The third: "me—two, even three times a week!”
The first: “dude, come on! You don’t even have a wife!!”
3rd: “wait a minute, I thought we were talking about YOUR wife!!!”

A dying man wants to prevent his family from inheriting his wealth. So he entrusts the money to his three closest friends: a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer.

He gives each friend an envelope with $1,000,000 in cash, and makes them all swear to bury the money with him when he dies. They all shake hands and solemnly agree.

A few months later the man dies, and the three friends place their envelopes in the casket.

Later, privately, the doctor...

Three friends die and reach the gates of Heaven

Three friends named John, Mike and Nick die and reach the gates of Heaven. There they meet St. Peter,he calls the first man, John, and says:"John, as I can see you have never cheated on your wife so take this Lamborghini to cruise around Heaven forever! John happily takes the car and goes to Heaven....

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So these three friends went to a park to enjoy their Sunday.

Jim, Tim and Maximilian found a place near a tree to settle down and lay out their stuff. They'd been through a hectic week and they deserved this break, particularly Tim, who had been through the most. So they pulled out their drinks and lay it on the mat, and set up their radio to play some relaxi...

A plane crashed into an island and three friends were the only survivors

A blonde, redhead and brunette were left stranded on the island. Figured they would need help to get off the island, they split up to look any inhabitants that might help them.

The redhead stumbled on a magical lamp, rubbed it and out came a genie. "I will grant you one wish," said the genie....

Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.

1st Friend: Genie i want to go home back.

Genie grants his wish.

Second Friend: I also want to go back my home.

Genie grants his wish too.

Third Friend: I have nowhere to go , I am alone , I have no home, I want my both friends to be here with me.

Three friends are exploring an abandoned theme park when they come across a mysterious water slide.

At the top of the slide is a sign that reads ‘As you descend, shout out your wish and it shall be granted’.

The first friend goes down the slide and shouts ‘I WANT LOADS OF GOLD!’, and sure enough at the bottom he lands in a huge pool of gold coins.

The second friend, seeing this, goe...

Three friends Shutup, Trouble, and Manners are walking through a forest

Trouble got lost so Shutup and Manners went to the police station. While Manners stays outside, Shutup goes to talk to a cop.

The officer on duty asks " What is your name, son?"

Shutup says "Shutup"

Cops replies" what!!! I'll ask once more, what is you name?!?"

Shutup ex...

Three friends throw darts for high scores at a pub...

The first dude hits the 20 three times and calls: "SIXTY!"

The second one hits two darts in the 20 and one in the triple 20 and shouts: "ONE HUNDRED!"

When the third guy takes his turn, after throwing a 20 and a triple 20 the third dart deflects off the board and hits a nun sitting at ...

Three friends decide to go on a hiking trip...

But they get lost in the wilderness and wander around for hours.

They stumble upon some strange tracks in the forest. The first friend says,

"These are moose tracks!" The second friend says, "No, these are clearly bear tracks!"

The third friend however did not get a chance to...

There are three friends: Shutup, Mind and Troublez.

There are three friends: Shutup, Mind and Troublez.
Each one named according to their personality.

One day, while playing in the playground - Troublez goes missing.
Shutup and Mind decided to go to the police station.
Mind is tired and sits outside on the bench.
Shutup goe...

Three friends are chatting while having a drink

The first one says "My wife just gave birth to our fourth son, just one more and I can start a basketball team."

The second one says "I got you beat, my wife just gave birth to our tenth son, just one more and I can start a soccer team."

The third one then replies "That's nothing, my ...

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Three friends are walking down the sidewalk and see something in their path that looks like shit, but they aren't sure.

Al leans down and takes a whiff. "It smells like shit".

Bob reaches down and presses two fingers into it. "Hmm, it feels like shit."

Carl asks for a piece and begins to chew it. With a full mouth he declares, "Well, it sure tastes like shit."

Al then reasons out loud, "So it loo...

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Three friends go skiiing

These three friends decide to go on a skiing trip.

When they get to the resort and find the cabin they've rented, they realize its only one king sized bed. Undeterred by this, the three friends decide to just deal with it and share the bed as they will only be in here to sleep for a couple o...

Three friends are on a road trip and stop at a motel for the night.

Three friends are on a road trip and stop at a motel for the night. The receptionist tells them there is only 1 room available with 1 bed in it.

The guys are exhausted and just decide to share the bed. In the morning, the one who slept on the left side of the bed says "I just had the best dr...

Three friends go on a skiing trip.

Three friends go on a skiing trip, but they need to save money so they rent a cabin with only one bed that’s big enough for all three of them.

After the first night the guy on the left says he had the most amazing dream. A busty blonde seduced him and gave him an amazing handjob.

The...

Three friends go camping in a haunted forest

Late at night, the ghost that haunts the place goes to the first guy and says; "I'm the ghost with one green eye." Naturally the first guy flees. Then, the ghost goes to the second guy and says: "I'm the ghost with one green eye". Second guy flees. And lastly the ghost goes to the third guy and says...

Three friends are shipwrecked on a desert island

After days of despair, one of them stumbles across a lamp and shows it to the others. They rub it and sure enough a genie appears.



**"I AM THE GENIE OF THE LAMP, AND I WILL GRANT YOU EACH ONE WISH"**



The first friend immediately declares "I wish I was at home with my fa...

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Three friends are talking at a bar

The first one says, "You know, at this place, when you buy one drink, you get the next one free."

The second one says, "My favorite bar is better. You buy the first drink, and you get the next *two* for free."

"I know that place too, but I know a better bar," says the third friend. "...

Three good friends, Jake, John, and Jack, are accepted into Heaven

Three good friends, Jake, John, and Jack, are accepted into Heaven. However, before they enter, Saint Peter warns them that there are miniature ducks all over Heaven, and that they are to never, ever, step on them. With that, he leads them into the magnificent realm of Heaven.

After some tim...

Three friends are sitting in a tree...

Crazy, Nothing and Nobody are sitting in a tree. Suddenly Nobody falls from the tree. "Fast, call an ambulance" says Nothing. Crazy quickly calls 911 and says "Hello, I am Crazy, I call for Nothing because Nobody has fallen from a tree!"

Three friends stranded on an island

There was no way they could survive on that island and leaving by boat or swimming wasn't an option too.

But they find a genie on that island that gives every friend one wish.

One of the friends said:
" I wanna be in New York " and suddenly he is in NY

The other said:
"I ...

Three friends talking about their dogs.

So there were three friends talking about the intelligence of their dogs, to which one says:

My shepherd dog not only took care of my sheep when I left but also sheared them once a year.

The next says:
Ha! Mine was so smart that all he left to do was to bark.

The third sobbin...

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Three friends are in a car...

Three friends get together as they usually do during the weekend. At one point in the evening they decide to go and buy some cigarettes so they get in the car and drive out.

While driving down one of the streets they notice a prostitute under a streetlight and the friend driving goes: “hey g...

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Another three friends brag about sex.

Friend A starts "I won the lottery last month and now women keep having sex me, I've slept with at least one girl a night since!"

Friend B counters "Well I'm a model with over 2 million Instagram followers. I pick up several women a day all willing to have sex with me!"

Friend C, in a ...

Three friends are on a road trip...

They decide to stop for the night at the only hotel in town. As they get up to the reception desk, they are informed that there is only one room left and it's a queen. The three are comfortable enough with eachother and decide the minor inconvenience is worth not driving a few hours down the road ...

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Three friends went hunting in the woods.

After not seeing any deer for several hours, they decided to split up, hoping that at least one of them would be able to bag some venison. They agreed that if anyone shot a deer, he would shoot three times in the air so the others could come help with the carcass.

Some time passed, and one of...

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Three friends, a cop, a fireman and a sanitation worker were on a trip to Saudi Arabia.

One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the sheik came in. "I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will b...

Three friends decided to go on a three day excursion into the jungle...

On the second day, Joey and Sam woke to find their friend, Creed, had disappeared. Knowing that he was a heavy sleeper and was prone to sleep walking, they quickly packed up to go find him.

They stumbled upon a remote village who welcomed them with open arms, fed them, and threw a three day f...

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Three friends go a halloween costume party..

They're greeted at the door by the host. "Okay, so we have Steve Irwin, a zombie\- wait, why are you just in you underwear?"

"I'm premature ejaculation; I've come in my pants"

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A lemon, a potato, and a pea all had a tough week working at the grocery store...

...so they decided to let off some steam with a bar crawl at the weekend.

They had a great time, hitting bar after bar, knocking back drinks, but being so genetically different, the alcohol affected them each in different ways: the lemon got very acidic and refluxy; the potato, being a big st...

An Australian, and Irishman and a Brit were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when suddenly the Irishman cried out:

My God! I know who that man is - it's Jesus!" The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.


The Irishman calls out across the lounge: "Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus"? Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am J...

Three friends decided to go hunting together.

One was a lawyer, one a doctor, and the other a preacher. As they were walking, along came a big buck. The three of them shot at the same time and the buck dropped immediately. The hunting party rushed to see how big it actually was. Upon reaching the fallen deer, they found out that it was dead but...

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Three friends, Harry, Dick, an Billy were stranded on an island

They stumble upon a genie lamp, who proceeds to give them each a wish.

Harry, being the smartest of the group, says, "I wish to have the power to change into a bird so I can fly away."

So Harry flies away.

Dick, being somewhat smart, says, 'I want to become a bird and fly away!"...

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered.

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.

It is through this entrance that they find a secret passageway, one that is made at...

Three friends: Nobody,Somebody and Mad used to live happily together

Once, Nobody and Somebody had a huge argument and in a fit of rage Somebody killed Nobody .

Horrified, Mad decided to call the cops.
Mad: Hello cops? Somebody just murdered Nobody! You need to come over quick!

Cop: What?

Mad: Somebody killed Nobody!

Cop: Sir, are yo...

Three friends came into the bar

Three friends came into the bar and started eating their sandwiches.

The barman said to them "You can't eat your food here.".

So they exchanged their sandwiches.

Three friends die and go to heaven..

..when they get there, they see St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter greets them and tells them that to enter heaven they must each answer one question, completely honestly.

St. Peter calls the first man up and asks him if he ever cheated on his wife. The man tells St. Peter, "I never...

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Three friends find a lamp and release a Genie...

The Genie is extremely grateful to the three friends for releasing him from his dormant stage and offers three wishes to each man.

The first one says "I want to have enough money that I don't have to work another day in my life." As soon as he finished, his phone beeped saying he had $10 Mil ...

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Three friends decide to sell their three ducks...

The first man takes his duck, knocks on a stranger's door, and says "Hello ma'am, would you like to buy my duck?" The woman says, "Sure I will give you $5 for your duck." The man says "Great" and they make the exchange.

The second friend goes up to another house, knocks and asks the owner if...

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Three friends are walking back home after hiking...

Suddenly, they're kidnapped by a group of cannibals. They strip them naked and tie them to a tree.

"We have one exception to let you live: all three of your dicks must measure to a total of 15 inches."

So they measure the first guy's dick, 8 inches. They measure the second guy's dick...

Three friends are lost in the woods...

As they try to find their way out, they chance upon a beautiful house and farm. Puzzled by this house in the middle of nowhere, they decide to look inside one of the windows to see if they can get any idea of what's going on. Upon looking in, they see an old man with his eighteen young, beautiful da...

Three friends at the bar...

- The first: "You know... my wife wants two children after seeing Hansel and Gretel"
- The second: "My wife instead wants seven children after seeing Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"
- The third: "Umh I have to go, my wife is watching 101 Dalmatians".

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Three friends get lost in the jungle...

So three guy friends on vacation in South America get lost in the jungle.

Eventually after hours wandering and near death. The trio find themselves on a remote area of farmland where Coca plants are being grown.

Before long they get caught by the local drug lord who owns the land and ...

Mary went to a restaurant with three of her friends.

The three friends ordered from the vegan section whereas Mary had a little lamb.

Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach.

One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father. Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and ...

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