UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room

-and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"

Donald frowned and said, "No."

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.

"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested.

So...

A little girl walks into a pet shop

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper bends down to her level, smiling, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby, or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over...

I'm Thor!

One day, while looking upon the world from his perch high upon Valhalla, Thor is starting to feel his oats. To put it more bluntly, it's been a while since he's been laid.

He jumps down to earth and sees a comely farm girl. No words are spoken-- he just sweeps her off her feet and they make w...

Thor was bored with life on Asgard and one day decided travel to earth to entertain himself.

Whilst here he happened upon a beautiful maiden and the pair hooked up that evening and made love all night, with Thor slipping out in the early hours.

Back in Asgard Thor felt bad for the fair lady about slipping away never too be seen again and thought he at least owed it to her to explain...

Thor and his pals were bored in Asgard one evening

So they came up with the idea to travel to Earth and go to a nightclub. He bumps into a very attractive girl at the bar and without saying a word, they are in love with each other and start making out. They leave immediately and go back to the girl's place. The passion is intense and they make love ...

A little girl walks into a pet store...

A little girl walks into a pet store and approaches the clerk. "Im looking for a wabbit" she says.

The clerk, taken aback by how adorable this girl is, asks "Aww, well would you like a white wabbit, or a brown wabbit?"

The little girl replies "I dont think my python gives a thit"

Upon seeing a beautiful milkmaid, Thor appears before her in a flash of lightning...

Picking her up, he takes her to the hay loft where he proceeds to make ravenous love to her for thee days.

As the sun rose on the third day, he walked to the door and said "Woman! I must go. I have duties and I am Thor!"

To which she replied... "You're Thour? I'm not going to be able t...

I am Thor.

Tho thor I have a hard time thitting down.

I didn't know what the Irish word for 'fell' was...

Then it Thit me

Everybody is all about "May the fourth be with you" because of Star Wars.

Meanwhile people with a lisp are complaining, "you bathtardth, we've been thayin it the thame way for yearth and nobody hath ever done thit for uth!!!!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Loki decided to surprise Thor at his birthday party with a lady...

He introduces them, and Thor realizes the girl has a severe lisp. He tells Loki he just can't do it, and Loki assures him that despite her lisp, it will be the best night of his life.

Without another word between the two, the girl and Thor head off to his bedroom, and have an amazing night o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The god Thor is bored one day and decided to try out having sex with a mortal woman...

He heads down to earth and finds a beautiful young woman. Pouring on the charm, he convinces her to go to bed with him. He goes back to her place and enjoys her in every possible way, absolutely plowing her with all his god-like strength and endurance. 7 hours later, he rolls off. She's laying there...

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