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Third Period Jokes

I asked my wife what the score on the hockey game was.

I was stuck in traffic. Called home she said it was 2-1 in the third quarter. I said it's not the third quarter it's the third period. She said, oh, that explains all the blood.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pretzel Hold

An American wrestler is competing in the Olympics and is slated to go up against Ivan Bortski, the Russian champ. Coach pulls him aside and says, "Listen this is Bortski the champion. Whatever you do, don't let him get you into the Pretzel Hold, his most famous move. You won't win if he gets you int...

What do a hockey player and an Amish woman have in common?

They both shower after the third period.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pregnant woman gets caught in the crossfire of a bank robbery...

She gets shot, and wakes up in the hospital only to see a doctor standing next to her bed. "Wha-what happened? What's going on?" She says. To which the doctor replies, busy and indifferent, "Well, I have good news and bad news...the good news is your pregnancy is unaffected and you will have your tr...

Whats the difference between a hockey player and a girl from Mississippi?

A hockey player showers after the third period.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do hockey goaltenders and Alaskan prostitutes have in common?

They only change their pads after the third period.

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