They Call Me Jokes - 34 Hilarious They Call Me Jokes

They call me fireman

Cuz I turn on the hoes

They call me the microwave...

Cause i take it out 2 seconds before i finish.

They call me Joe Fat Fingers

And I dobn't kniw whu

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Want to know why they call me Olive Oil?

Cause I'm extra virgin. Get on my level.

Ya know what they call me?

They call me deaf.

Or at least I assume they do.

Credits to u/agenttarian

They call me shotgun

Cause I only need one pump

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor.

They call me "blister" at work.

I show up after the work is done.

They call me The Tripod

Her: So why do they call you 'Tripod'?

Me: Let me unzip this and show you...

*opens camera case and takes really steady photo*

I have one alcoholic beverage and they call me an alcoholic

But when I have a Fanta, no one calls me fantastic.

They call me terms and conditions

Cause i am always ignored

After I've been waiting at the drive through they call me fat.

And they say it like it's their fault.

"Welcome sir. I'm sorry about your wait. Can I take your order?"

When you think about it I guess it kind of is their fault.

They call me the environmentalist

Because I’m all about SUS-tainability

Do you know why they call me Pico?

Cause I'm da guy, yo!

They call me Love Master

Because I at tennis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In Italy, they call me Olive Oil

Its because im extra virgin. :(

They call me 007 at work

0 motivation

0 skills

7 coffee breaks

They call me Schizo man

because they don’t exist

They call me the Mary Poppins of artillery...

I deliver...

Super-calibre-ballistic-expedient-explosions

Hey Girl, you know why they call me the Mechanical Bull?

Because riding me is a very uncomfortable and likely short experience.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guess why they call me Thunder ?

Because you can't see it

Why do they call me an oven?

Because when I get turned on things get really hot

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When 2 people have it's called a twosome. When 3 people do it it's called a threesom

I guess that's why they call me handsome...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They call me Oedipus Rex...

Caus I'm a motherfucking dinosaur.

Wanna know why they call me Christmas?

Cause Christmas came early this year.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They used to call me "the virgin" until last night's party

Now they call me "Drunky McShitpants"

Everybody call me ugly until they saw my wallet.

They call me ugly and broke.

In group projects, they call me the task manager

I **control** the group, **shift** the blame, then proceed to **escape**

What do they call me in prison?

Mitochondria, cause I'm the powerhouse of the cell

Why do they call me seven days?

Because I'm weak.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Women call me ugly before they know how much I’m worth.

Afterwards, they call me broke- and ugly.

Mom why do they call me...

[So my friend told me this joke today]

A little girl walks into her mother's room and asks 'mom, why did you name me daisy?'
'Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head,' she replied.
The next child walks in and says 'mom, why did you name me rose?'
'Because when you...

They used to call me fat, but then I gained another 66% with soft drinks.

Now they call me fanta.

People always call me unattractive until they see my wallet...

then they call me poor too.

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