UPJOKE

When my dentist reminded me about my husband’s sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed and laughed about it for a while, but then it hit me....

We have different dentists...

I was walking passed a farm and a sign said ‘Duck, eggs’.

I thought, that’s an unnecessary comma. And then it hit me.

I used to think women were objects.

But then it hit me.

I forgot where my boomerang was

Then it hit me.

Saw a man in a parking lot throwing Stephen King novels at people

I couldn't figure out why. Then It hit me.

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.

**Then it hit me.**

I heard a joke about a speeding bus the other day.

I didn't get it at first. Then it hit me.

I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets…

then it hit me.

I was trying to figure out why someone would throw a pie in my face.

And then it hit me.

I never wanted to believe the rumors about my company’s tech department being abusive until I had to have them come fix an issue with my office computer.

And then IT hit me.

Foolproof: How I became a billionnaire in just 15 days. You can do it too.

When my wife and I got married we only got 0.50$ of combined wealth.

I was wandering around in the fruit market in desperation, that was when I saw an apple for 50 cents. I was so hungry that I spent our 50 cents in a blink of an eye. On one apple.

But then it hit me: What have I done?...

I couldn't figure out why a male sheep is called a Ram...

Then it hit me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) My wife keeps making jokes about squirting orgasms

At first I didn't get it, but then it hit me.

An old lady in London...(a true story)

Around a week ago I was waiting in queue behind an old lady at KFC. She placed her order, paid in cash, and all was well until she received one of those new plastic £5 notes as change from the cashier.

She vocally expressed her dislike about the presence of animal products in the new £5 bills...

I’ve been playing in the street all day wondering why I haven’t seen a single car

And then it hit me

I used to work as a bed salesman

One day this guy came in and started climbing into the beds and asking really specific questions. Then it hit me, he was an undercover cop.

I’ve been wondering why it is called a punch line towards the end of jokes...

And then it hit me

A long, long time ago, I used to be a farmer.

I used to grow wheat and the quality of my product was second to none. I was famous all over the world for my unmatched wheat harvest.

Everything was going fine, until this one day.

In the middle of a pitch black night, my most bitter rival stole all of my wheat. None of it left on the...

Yesterday I was walking,

and I was wondering why everyone always told me to look both ways before crossing a street. And then it hit me.

I thought I'd lost my boomerang the other day when I threw it too hard

And then it hit me

I was pondering why people keep telling me that juggling bricks is a bad idea.

Then it hit me.

I threw a brick in the air and pondered what would happen...

... and then it hit me.

The roof was caving in by the minute. I spent my few seconds deciding what to do...

And then it hit me.

I'm a physicist and I went to a baseball game the other day....A foul ball got hit my way.... As the baseball came toward me, I was trying to work out how long it would take to reach me, based on its arc and velocity...

And then it hit me.

I shot an arrow into the air, where it went I had no care...

then it hit me.

So the other day I was crossing the street trying to remember something very important,

And then it hit me, at 50 mph.

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