UPJOKE

Then I Said Jokes

I saw a homeless man & I asked him if I gave him $20 would you buy booze? He said no he hadn't had a beer in years. Then I said if I give you $20 will you buy hunting gear? He again said no, he stopped hunting 5 years ago.

So then I said I'll do you better than $20. I'll take you home let you all cleaned up. My wife will cook a fantastic meal for you. Then I'll bring you back & still give you $20.
He asked me won't she get mad? I said it didn't matter.
I just wanted her to see what happens to a man whe...

I just bumped into a mannequin and said sorry. Then I said "Oh I thought you were a person".

Then I realized I was still talking to a mannequin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What are some of your best “and then I said” jokes

When my friends and I are talking I like to every now and then go “and then I said ping pong balls not king kong’s balls” for a laugh.

I wondered if anyone else has any gags like this?

Then I said "Your beard makes you look thinner"

.....but that didn't seem to cheer her up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was going down on my girlfriend

Then I said 'Geez you got a big pussy! Geez you got a big pussy!' She said 'why did you say it twice?' and I said 'I didn't'".

I was talking to a girl at school one day and she was talking to me and she asked how tall I was and I answered 6’4” and she shivered and then I said “Maybe 6’5” and she screamed. Then I asked her “ What’s wrong with you?”

She said “Nothing, I’m just afraid of heights.”

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