UPJOKE

I would like to put on record my appreciation for the guys who play the triangle in orchestras.

Thanks for every ting.
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You hear what happened when the triangle tried to make all its angles 90 degree?

Didn't end well, I hear it's a wrecked angle now.
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Where did the square go after killing the triangle?

To prism.
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What did the triangle say to the circle?

You're pointless! (by the way, my 8 year old heard at school)
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I used to be in a reggae band once. I played the triangle.

I ended up leaving though, it was just one ting after another.
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How did the triangle kill itself?

It used a hypotenuse.
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What did the triangle say to the square?

Nice quads bro.
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What did the triangle say to the circle?

“Ay bb you’re all curves, lemme smash. Come on, just the tip.”

So the circle says

“Wow … you’re rather pointed”

And the triangle replies,

“At least I’m not a square.”
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Why did the square fall in love with the triangle?

Because she had acute angle.
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Why was the triangle sent to hell?

Cos sin
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A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...

... thanks for every ting.
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The circle and the triangle

So a triangle and a circle meet each other and the triangle says: "you're pointless."

To which the circle replies: "that's how I roll!"
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three kingdoms border a lake in the shape of an obtuse triangle

One kingdom lies on each side of the lake. For decades, the king's had argued over it's true owner, each claiming to be the first kingdom to settle there, and many tales of magical swords and godly favours to claim divine right. Eventually, this storytelling and legal battling came to no conclusion,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happened to the triangle after he saw porn for the first time?

He became erectangle

What did the triangle say to the preacher?

Forgive me father for I have sin().
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How did the triangle know he had appendicitis?

He had an acute pain in his side!
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Why didn't the triangle go outside to get a tan?

Cos the sine said so!
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One day the triangle player of an orchestra gets very ill and goes to the hospital.

He spends the entire day practising despite his fever and all his constant sneezing and sniffling. The next day, he goes home to find his house surrounded by police cars.

He asks a police officer, "What happened?"

The officer replies, "Your conductor came by your house to talk to you ...
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What did the triangle need to do before he could get a loan?

He needed somebody to cosine.
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I once worked with a very musically talented Jamaican

I once worked with a very musically talented Jamaican who, after years of auditions for various instruments, got a gig in the local orchestra playing the triangle- not his first choice. One day he came in super stressed looking.

I said “What’s up...can't handle the pressure of performing on ...
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Some shapes got involved in an accident.

The circle got up and looked round, the triangle suffered acute injuries and the square was alright.
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They're defunding the Pentagon.

Now it's the Triangle.
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Donald Trump has been tested..

He managed to get the square into the square slot but struggled with the triangle and circle.
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Was happily watching the Bermuda philharmonic orchestra

When the guy on the triangle disappeared
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A circle went to a party uninvited

"This party is only for shapes with edges. You cannot be here.", said the triangle.

The circle replied, sipping his drink, "I know. That's just how I roll."
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My grandad sent me this

Enjoy the fun & the pun.



Q: Can February March?

A: No. But April May!



Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalised?

A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes!



Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?

A: I better ...

I went to see a concert performance by the Royal Bermuda Philharmonic orchestra...

Half way through the first symphony, the triangle player vanished...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chickens are Illuminati

As of 2011 there is an estimated 19 billion chickens in the world or 3 for every person. What has 3 sides? A triangle. Where can you see triangles? The pyramids. Where are the pyramids? Egypt. What did Egyptians worship? Cats and dogs. Cats and dogs are rivals such as chickens and turkeys. When do p...

Once upon a time in a far away land...

There's a triangular lake, with three kingdoms on each side of the triangle.

The first kingdom is very rich, and the people are content. It has a very competent army, with a squire for every knight, and a total of twenty thousand knights. There is no hunger in the land.

The second kin...
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