UPJOKE

The Skipper Jokes

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A young sailor (loooong)NSFW

A young sailor who just got married, was sent out to sea shortly after his honeymoon. Having been a virgin when he got married he soon was ā€œfrustratedā€. The Skipper of the ship frequently walked the passageways talking to his sailors. On once such tour he met the young man. The young sailor when ask...

This joke may contain profanity. šŸ¤”

A jumbo jet is just coming into the Toronto Airport on it's final approach.

The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto".

He forgot to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The ...

A horse plays cricket

I heard this a while ago on BBC America, so it's paraphrased a bit:

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A horse is in his field, watching a cricket match over the fence.

He calls out to the captain, and asks if he could play as well. The skipper says, "Why not? Might be fun," and gives the horse a bat as it w...

The captain and some navigators are smoking weed on the bridge on the titanic

When all of a sudden a cadet bursts in from the door releasing a big cloud of weed smoke right into his face. The cadet ignores it and starts exclaiming:

"Captain! I've spotted a huge ice block of ice right in our path, we need to change course, or we will hit it!"

"Naah, don't worry ...

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