UPJOKE

The Sheik Jokes

It is said that the Sheiks in Dubai do not approve of the Flintstones.

But those in Abu Dhabi do.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia.

One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with the women, when suddenly the sheik came in.
“I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be...

Rabbi, priest, and a sheik find a bag of $ on the ground while on a walk together

They all agree money needs to go to god but how much?

The priest draws a circle on the ground and declares anything that falls into the circle goes to god the rest outside the circle they split and keep.

The sheik disagrees, he believes it should be reverse, in the circle means they ke...

An American, a German and a Chinese got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia

So for the terrible crime, they were all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping .."

The German was first in lin...

A man named Martin is lost in the desert and came upon an oasis.

Upon stumbling into camp and drinking hastily from the well, the sheik of the oasis steps out of the largest tent and orders his guards to arrest him. The sheik explains that Martin has drunk from the precious little water left to the oasis and can either fight to the death with the sheik or dig and...

Her Weight in Gold

An Arab sheik says to an American tourist. “Mr. Smith, your wife, she is beautiful. I have to have her. I will trade you her weight in gold.”

Mr. Smith says, “Give a few days.”

The sheik asks, “To think it over?”

Mr. Smith says, “Hell, no. To fatten her up!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Australian, an American and a New Zealander are enjoying some beer in Saudi Arabia.

...even though it is against the law to drink alcohol there. They are captured by the Sheik and are sentenced to death, until his wife runs up to him and whispers something in his ear. She glances to the New Zealander, and whispers some more.

The sheik steps forward and announces: "Because it...

An Arab sheikh is dying

... and the only thing that could save him a blood transfusion. But there is a problem - the sheikh has a very rare blood type. After very intensive searches sheik's servants finally find a donor. This happens to be an old Jewish guy who agrees to donate blood in exchange for a substantial reward. T...

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