UPJOKE

The Ripper Jokes

What do Dora The Explorer and Jack The Ripper have incommon

Same middle name

Why couldn’t the police catch Jack the Ripper?

Because they were a rock band and not detectives.

Why did Jack the Ripper stop killing people?

He was taking a stabbatical.

Jack The Ripper once auditioned for a men's music group.

Apparently, he wasn't the sort of Backstreet Boy they were after.

Jack the Ripper and a lovely young lady were taking a stroll through the woods together...

as it started getting darker, the lady got closer to Jack the Ripper and said, "Stay close to me, I'm scared of the dark!" Jack replied, "You're scared? I'm the one who has to walk home alone!!"

What is one thing you can ask both Jack the Ripper and a man who is speed dating?

'What do you look for in a woman??

Someone once asked me how I'd feel if I was a victim of Jack the Ripper.

I told them that I'd probably feel quite gutted.

Jack the Ripper goes to the Dr. with a stabbing pain...

Dr says, "Tell me more".

Jack says " My whole shoulder is sore".

If Jack the Ripper was...

...transported to current times and wanted a fast food meal before carrying on his dasterdly deeds in our time what might an appropriate dining establishment be called?




Chick-fil-A

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jack the Ripper's reasons for killing hookers was pretty understandable.

They wouldn't accept him into their ranks as Jack the Stripper.

Which Historical Figure do you not want a colonoscopy from?

Jack the Ripper

Strangely, my son farts a lot whenever it's Halloween.

That's why he always dresses up as Jack the Ripper.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do pro-life activists call a chronic masturbator?

Jack-off the Ripper.

The military has announced they are going to bomb Syria off the map.

They are naming the bombs "Son of Sam" and "Jack the Ripper."

They're Syria killers.

What do you call a sociopathic Englishman with flatulence?

Jack the Ripper

What's Tim Cook's new nickname?

Jack The Ripper

Girl can I get your digits?

Jack the Ripper was a quite a pickup artist.

"Let's go through it bit by bit"

Said Jack the Ripper

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