UPJOKE

The Punchline Jokes

The punchline comes before the joke

What’s the problem with time traveller jokes?

I need a few brief jokes to tell to a group of elderly people. The punchlines need to be easily understood, and they need to be clean and not making fun of anyone with any kind of disability. Have any brief and fairly original jokes?

This one is good, although I’ll probably have to emphasize the ‘mispronouncing words’ part, and instead of blonde, the dummy will be me:

*A blonde is flying in a Boeing for the first time. She starts jumping on her seat shouting "Boeing Boeing Boeing".
The pilot, clearly annoyed by this, w...

I always tell the punchline first.

Why am I so bad at telling jokes?

You've already heard the punchline.

What's the best thing about time traveling jokes?

I was listening to a joke about tinnitus but I could hear the punchline coming from a mile away.

Then I realized it was all in my head.

Sometimes the punchline comes before the set up.

You know what is wrong with tcpip jokes?

You already know the punchline

What’s the worst part about time travel jokes?

Because the punchline gets spoiled early.

Why is this time travel joke not funny?

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At 581 words this long one has the advantage of making you laugh many times even before the punchline.

An out of work pianist with Tourette's Syndrome was strolling around the streets and bars of London. Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window: 'Pianist wanted for evening performances'. "Fucking get in there you cunt!" he says to himself and goes to the bar.

<...

Put the punchline first.

How do you make a joke confusing?

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A joke in memoriam to Norm MacDonald. Please tell it and make it as unfunny as possible before you hit the punchline.

So, a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "sorry, we don't serve jokes here." They all nod and walk out and the bartender keeps cleaning glasses.


A man carrying a frog and a tiny piano walks into the bar and the bartender looks up, sees them, ...

Reveal the punchline before the end.

How do you ruin a good joke?

The punchline comes first.

How do you know that a comedian is a time traveler?

Sometimes I like to put the punchline first

A lot of people asked me why the line for drinks is before the line for food, so I explained

Just the punchline

r/jokes is full of good humor … and a lot of reposts. This thread is for redditors to post the punchlines of their favorite jokes, and others can put in the jokes, otherwise comment, or just say 42 or whatever.

Go!

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Is it the first line or the punchline that goes here?

In the days of the wild west, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the fastest gunfighter in the world.

He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.

Sitting in a saloo...

Morecambe and Wise non-joke (they never got to the punchline)

There were two old men sat in deck chairs. One says: "It's nice out". The other says "Yes, I think I'll get mine out too."

Johnny became a mailman after hearing how they always slept with women as part of the punchline of jokes. He figured he’d tell the jokes to mothers as he dropped of the mail and then sleep with them. He dropped off package after package and told joke after joke, but no mothers ever slept with him.

One day he asked a mother if he’s been mislead by the jokes. Maybe mother’s really never slept with the mailmen and the jokes were misleading.

The mother said, “oh honey, it’s not the jokes, it your delivery.”

I try to steal jokes but I never get the punchline quite right

Anyway, two engineers tied a blonde to a flagpole or something

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Seriously though, why can't you put the punchline in the title?

What do you say to piss off a redditor?

Making sure the punchline appears after the set up.

What's the key to a good time travel joke?

I always try to predict the punchline to jokes posted here.

I'm still trying to figure this one out.

Have you every heard a joke with the punchline “Guacamole”?

Guacamole.

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Some say if you can guess the punchline of a joke by the title on Reddit before clicking on it - that it's a rubbish joke...

Tits

By putting the punchline in the title

How do you trick /r/jokes into thinking it's a repost?

What is the punchline to this joke my daughter's Fozzie Bear toy says?

My daughter has a muppet babies Fozzie Bear talking toy.

He says numerous phrases including singing the muppet babies theme song and who could forget his memorable catch phrase "wakka wakka"

But then, being the jokester he is, says this:

"Did you ever hear the one about the ba...

I’m having a hard time remembering the punchline of this joke about the wife who found her husband, naked and unconscious, after he’d cheated for the last time.

The long and short of it was in her hands.

Because I always spoil the punchline.

Someone asked me the other day why I don't tell many jokes

I put the punchline to this on top of a Conifer tree.

If you don't get it, joke's on yew.

Because it gives you the punchline before the buildup!

This joke is like a pop-up ad...

If I had a dollar for every time I messed up the punchline

To get to the other side

The punchline to this clickbait joke may shock you...

Exposed electrical wiring.

If the punchline was in the title.

Mobile users would be much happier.

I usually like to read the punchline of long jokes before I read the whole thing.

The Bible definitely threw me a curveball.

I never click on these, because the punchline is rarely worth the effort.

Told you

Because before the setup, the punchline he says

Why Yoda tell jokes can't?

People who put the punchline in the title

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Did you hear the mobster tell the punchline of the joke about the famous British chef that was skewered, clean through, after falling onto more than one male Bighorn sheep?

"Gored on rams, see?"

What do you call someone who blurts out the punchline before he finishes the

A Premature Ejokeulator!

What do you call it when you rush to say a joke before you finish formulating the punchline in your head?

Wait don't click this post yet i'm thinking 1 sec

Could you imagine a game about jokes that have item drops and the rarest item in the game is known as “the punchline” which has a drop chance of 1/100000?

Friend: “hey Jordan, what you up to?”

Me: “I’ve been playing this joke game for two years and I still haven’t gotten the punchline.”

As a Fedex driver myself, I thought this was really funny. The punchline might not make sense to you guys though, because...

OP delivers.

Hey did you hear the punchline about the scary cow?

It was Terror bull.

/r/Jokes, a public service announcement: search the punchline before you post your joke.

Often times, when a joke hits the top of this sub, it gets passed around and subsequently reposted many times in a short period. It can be difficult searching for the joke, since everyone uses different titles, but the search function not only searches titles but the content of posts as well. If you...

My dad came home drunk last night and started telling me jokes. They all sucked, but as he was telling the last joke he puked up on the punchline.

It was the sickest joke I've ever heard!

Someone told me a joke, but I can't remember the punchline.

A mortician friend told me a joke about a situation he encountered several years back, but I can't remember the punchline to save my life.

It was about this couple who got in an auto accident on their anniversary. The wife survived but the husband unfortunately died on impact.

The wif...

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Q: How does a nervous comedian deliver the punchline to a terrible joke about urine?

A: "But um, piss"

Delivering the punchline too early.

You know what's the only thing worse than delivering the punchline to a joke too late?

You know the punchline for it won't be funny either, but it'll still be reposted eventually.

Why are Jeopardy! jokes posted on Reddit not hilarious?

I remember the punchline to a joke but I don't recall the joke. Can anyone help?

The punchline: That's not a cow, that's a bull and that ain't milk.

Because he always knew what the punchline would be.

Why didn't the psychic laugh at any jokes?

Time to be creative. I'll give you the punchline, you give me the joke!

A dresser without drawers.

He put the punchline in the title

Did you hear about the guy who can't format his jokes properly?

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Read the punchline out loud. I first heard this in high school, not sure how well it translates to print.

Poor Tom.

When he was seven, he lost his left eye in a tragic accident. Being from a poor family, the only replacement they could afford was a wooden eye.

When he was seventeen, three weeks before the prom, he was still dateless. He decided to work up the courage to ask someone, but ...

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Buddy laid this one on me a while back. His acting made me believe it all the way till the punchline.

Was at a party when a friend starts telling this story. You'll have to change some things around to make it work for you but it goes like this.

So did you hear I got a ticket last week? I was driving down this farm road cause I thought it would be a short cut getting to my girlfriends house....

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Need the joke to the punchline.

So I've heard the punchline to this joke on tv and in movies just as the scene comes in mid joke. All you hear is "Rectum? Damn near killed em!!" And everyone laughs.

it's been bothering me for a long time but I never thought to ask someone lol. Anyone know the rest?

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The punchline to that invisible penis joke was great

I didn't see it coming

Bit of a different post here - an author introduces a joke but never reveals the punchline...anyone heard this joke? Or make up your own punchline?

In *Infinite Jest* by David Foster Wallace, at one point there's a line -

"...asking Mario if he knows what you call three Canadians copulating on a snowmobile."

But he doesn't say the punchline. I'm assuming maybe this is a commonish kinda joke? I've tried to think of what the pu...

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My nonprofit for constipation awareness went bankrupt (at least half of you can guess the punchline)...

because no one gave a shit!!! yeah yeah, I know where the door is...

[Meta] Based on the popularity of the punchline-first thread, I thought you all might like /r/reversejokes!

/r/reversejokes is a great little subreddit that I found. It's more or less completely inactive though, which is a shame.

Essentially, each thread is a punchline and the comments are the jokes.
Check it out!

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