UPJOKE

The Orphan Jokes

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him "go big or go home", he only had one option.

Why did the orphans only play half a season of baseball?

There were no home games.

Why did the orphan struggle to understand?

Nothing was ever apparent to him

What did the orphan kid say when he was riding his bike?

Look hands, no mum..

Why couldn't the orphan watch the movie?

Because it was PG

I made website for the orphans

It doesn’t have a home page.

What did the orphan poker player say?

Will you raise me?

The Orphan

A boy was living happily with his brother, mother, father, and dog. His father worked in a factory. The pay was ok, but the work was hard. One day, a man knocked at the door of the family. The man sat them down and informed them that the father had been caught in some machinery and had died. Th...

Joke I just thought up: What did the orphan say to the Star Trek fan thinking of adopting?

Bring me up, Scotty!

What did the Orphan get for Christmas?

Lonely.

What did Cher say to the orphan pig she rescued?

Babe, I got you babe.

Why was the orphan so successful?

When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option.

(I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)

Did you hear about the orphans that got their Christmas presents stolen?

I heard it was the second worst thing that ever happened to them.

What did the orphan boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves.

Just kidding. It’s still in the box. He couldn’t open them.

Where do all the orphan chickens end up?

Foster Farms

Did you hear about the orphan who lost both his right limbs in a car wreck?

He was all that was left

Why were the orphans at the back of the adoption line happy even though they didn't get adopted?

They were endorphans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saved 100 orphans from a burning building. Do they call me "The Orphan Saver?" No. I butchered 20 men with my bare hands in WWI, but so they call me "The Butcher?" No.

But you fuck one goat....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"See that wall?" said the bitter Scotsman at the pub...

I built that wall, all the way from here to Glenmore, but do they call me "Angus the wall-builder? Nooo!"

"And see the church spire? Built that too. Do they call me "Angus the steeple-builder"? Noo!"

"And that terrible night when the orphanage burned down,I saved all the wee bairns fro...

The Argentina team visited an orphanage in Russia

-It breaks my heart to see those poor eyes filled with sadness and hopelessness..

said one of the orphans.

A doctor, a lawyer, a priest, and an engineer are golfing...

... and they keep getting held up by a twosome in front of them. The two guys can't hit straight, take forever to find their balls, they are terrible, and no amount of yelling at them seems to help. Finally the greenskeeper comes around in his cart so they flag him down.

The greenskeeper sa...

The Spanish national soccer team visited an orphanage in Brazil today

"It was hard to see their sad and hopeless faces", said one of the orphans

3 men meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates

...and he asks them how they died.

The first man says, "I died carrying children out of a burning orphanage" and St. Peter welcomes him to Heaven.

The second says, "A burning beam fell on me as I was guiding the orphans out of the same fire" and gets the same welcome.

The final ...

There was a lad named John

There was a lad named John who was dealt a bad hand since he was born. He was an orphan who was brought up in a for profit orphanage, leading him to suffer mental trauma amongst other issues. After turning 16, he was kicked out of the orphanage with no support whatsoever. Not knowing what to do, he ...

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