UPJOKE

The Order Jokes

He got the order wrong

Why did the customer get upset at the waiter?

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?

In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.

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Did you know that an American president gave the order to drop two atomic bobs on Japan?

It's Truman

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Dear Madam, Thank you for the order at the Sex Toy Shop,

You asked for the big red that is featured on our wall. Please re-select, that is our fire extinguisher.
Sincerely.

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You guys hear the one about the orderly sleeping with mental patients?

He was fucking nuts.

Why did the Jedi let a Korean into the order?

Because he was the Choson Wan

The order which you tell it.

What's the most important part of a joke?

The order.

What do I always mess up when telling a joke?

Hear about the screen printer who misspelled the order of concert posters?

Must have had an extra stencil crisis.

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What's the difference between a jungle cat who wrote his PhD thesis on the economic effects of taxation, and the order of insects that includes butterflies and moths?

One's a leopard doctor of tax economy, the other's a lepidopteral taxonomy

I often get the order wrong...

What do I have in common with an incompetent fry cook?

You swap the order of the lines around.

How do you tell a joke badly on purpose?

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A man joins an order of Monks.

A man goes to join an order of monks.

The head Monk says to the man "This is a silent order. You will only be allowed to speak once, every 15 years."

The man says "Ok" and so begins his time with the silent order.

15 years pass and the man is sitting in the refectory when the h...

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A doctor, a nurse and an orderly go to the bathroom together

after they are finished the doctor goes to the sink and washes both her hands all the way to the elbow

the nurse goes to the sink and washes one hand very thoroughly

the orderly stands there and watches them.

As they are leaving, the doctor says with an air of indignation, "In m...

A Finnish joke from the Cold War

During the Cold War, a foreign journalist asked a Finnish general what Finland would do if the USSR and NATO would fight a war in Finland.

He replied “first we would beat out NATO, and then the Soviets”.

The journalist was surprised about the order and asked why.

“We are civiliz...

During a major hurricane the order is given to evacuate.

However a devout christian is confident that the lord will protect him from the storm.

As the water begins to rise a police man comes by in a 4 wheel drive and makes a call for evacuation.

“The lord will save us.” The man says confidently. The cop shrugs and drives off.

The w...

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A guy walks into a bar with an Ostrich

A man walks Into a bar with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a beer,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”
“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That wi...

My friend got a job at the dry cleaners but he got stressed out because he always mixed up the orders and kept upsetting the customers.

So the boss sent him to do a course in hanger management.

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A man goes to a kebab street food restaurant

“One classic portion with extra sauce please.”

The man in the window writes down the order and yells to the back:

“One Oh fuck with a guitar”

“What?! That’s not what I ordered!”, replies the confused customer.

“Oh don’t worry. It’s just our slang for your order sir.”
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