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The More Jokes

What gets easier to pick up, the more it weighs?

Women

The older I get, the more I regret all the people I've lost over the years.

Maybe being a trail guide wasn't such a great idea after all.

The more I think about it the more Murphy's law makes sense.

The best way to get the right answer on the Internet is indeed not to ask a question but to post the wrong answer.

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The older I get, the more I think about all the people I’ve lost forever

Turns out it was a shitty idea to get a job as a tour guide in the Amazon

What gets harder the more you play with it?

A rubiks cube

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In the early days of pioneer life, a compass was essential. One of the more common varieties was called the "Tates" compass.

Unfortunately it was a very low quality compass. From which comes the expression: He who has a "Tates," is lost.

What gets wetter the more it dries?

A towel.

The more you weigh, the more attractive you are.

Gravitationally speaking.

There is an experience some podcast hosts have in which the more popular they get, the dumber they seem and the more ridiculous shot they do.

It’s called the Joe Rogan Experience.

They say the more you drink, the higher is your tolerance.

Not true. My grandpa is an alcoholic, yet extremely racist.

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A Greek and an Italian are arguing which nation is the more intelligent

So the Greek says "we invented sex!"


To which the Italian responds "and we decided to do it with women"

The more time you spend with your lover, the more you become like them.

That explains why I'm so childish.

The more, the better...

... said Winnie the Pooh and then died from an overdose.

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Apparently the hornier you are, the more forgetful you are

Did you know that the hornier you are, the more forgetful you are?

What is something that the more you donate, the more uncomfortable people feel about it.

Kidneys

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The more you take the more you leave behind.

Shits.

The more money you make,

The less people test your pee.

The more you read, the better it gets.

A man was driving down the road when a police officer pulls him over. "Congratulations," says the police man. "You've won $500 in a safety contest for wearing your seat belt. What are you going to do with the money?"

The driver says, "Oh, I'm probably going to go to the driver's academy and g...

The more I hear about inverse proportion

the less I like it.

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I’ve been married for 24 years. The wife told me the older I get, the more horny that I am.

I told her that is not true. I just include her in my plans more often.

The more I stay at home...

...the more I look like a homeless person.

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The more and more people complain about fewer vs less....

The less fucks I give

The more you know

The gravity isn't real.

The government is pulling us down!

What becomes more wet the more it dries?

Me after doing the dishes. I love cleaning.

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The more you know...

It's high noon when a stranger rides into town. His ride is not a horse but an enormous bull, with horns that appear bloodstained. The stranger is a mountain of a man standing six foot eight inches tall, seven with hat on. He wore black leather from head to toe, with a pair of pistols on his belt...

The heavier you are the more people are attracted to you

Atleast in physics

Giving prostate exams is one of the more awkward parts of being a doctor.

I just hope my patients don't realize im a dentist.

The more you know!

A person is more likely to not have kids if their parents never had kids.

Strip poker is the only game where the more you lose...

...the more you have to show for it.

For PC games, the harder you click the more damage you do.

I need to replace my mouse.

The more you cut it, the less holes it has. What is it?

A net.

The Longer this lock-down carries on the more i find myself acting like a bodybuilder.

Not the actual exercise, More the eating every 2 hours.

The more people willing to commit scuicide exist,

the less people willing to commit scuicide exist.

The Olympics of who has more children.

A battle between an American, a Brit, and a Filipino.

It's a competition of who has the most number of children the story of how the Filipino beat the American and a Brit.


It's the Olympics and a lot of audience gathered in a dome, a massive 80,000-seater oval dome. All seats are...

Larger the sample size the more trustworthy the data

I guess the N's justify the means.

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[NSFW] What goes between boobs, and gets longer the more you pull on it?

A seatbelt

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