UPJOKE

The Hurricane Jokes

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What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

"Hold onto your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job."

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A hurricane is headed for a small town. The news says that everyone needs to evacuate. A religious man in the town says "I'm not going to leave my home, God will protect me".

The hurricane hits, and it's bad. There's mass flooding, and the police come to the man's door and tell him he needs to leave. The man says "I'm not afraid, God will protect me." The police give up and leave him.

The water rises in his house, so the man is forced to climb onto his roof. Just...

Why did the hurricane kill itself?

Because it had tropical depression.

Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY

That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

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What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?

Hold on to your coconuts, this ain't gonna be your average blowjob.


As told to me by a passing homeless man yesterday...

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What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts this will be one hell of a blow job!

(My brother and I heard this in the school yard when we were 9&6 respectively. That night he told it at the dinner table when my grandma was over!)

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The hurricane Sandy.

A guy goes to a bar and looks at the drink menu to see if he can try a new cocktail that he never had before. He noticed there is a drink on the menu named "Hurricane Sandy." The guy never heard of it before so he asks the bartender what is it. The bartender replied "It's a watered down Manhattan...

Because the Hurricane Made Landfall at Night...

...does that make it Florence Night-in Gale?

You hear about the new drink called The Hurricane Dorian?

It's just a watered down Bahama Mama..

Why was Batman in Texas trying to stop the Hurricane?

Because it kept leaving Harvey Dents everywhere

After the hurricane, fixing the fence around our family farm reminded me a lot of r/jokes

A lot of reposting

In a strange way, I was really looking forward to the hurricane and I was disappointed when it was downgraded...

I thought others round these here parts would echo my sentiment, but I guess Carolinians are used to being disappointed by the Hurricanes.

If you live in Florida, make sure to take a black and white photo of the hurricane this weekend.

I'm not exactly sure why, but I've heard a lot of buzz about a picture of Dorian, grey. People seem pretty wilde about it.

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Hurricane Gussy (NSFW?)

A man enters a brothel and tells the madam he's looking for something new and exciting.

The madam says "Well, we have one girl who is a contortionist."

The man says "No, that's too ordinary."

The madam thinks for a moment and says "What about a Hurricane Gussy? Have you ever ...

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A team of Nazi spies parachutes in Britain during WW2.

They're all well-trained, they know their mission, they have their legends. But when they're still above the ocean, suddenly a terrible thunderstorm hits them. The hurricane scatters them, some of them smash into the cliffs, others hit the waves and drown. Only one last spy, by sheer luck or miracle...

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