UPJOKE

The Bounty Jokes

Erwin the Bounty Hunter

Erwin the bounty hunter rides into town with a box strapped to his horse behind him. He rides up to the mayor, holds up the "Wanted" poster, and says, "I've got Bart the Bandit here just as you requested: 'Dead and alive'."

The mayor replies, "The poster says 'Dead OR alive', not 'Dead AND al...

[OC] I'm only attracted to guys who look sorta like the bounty hunter from Star Wars

Fettish

RE-PHRASE: People on Twitter claimed that if Dog the Bounty Hunter found Brian Laundrie before the government did, they would never pay taxes again

Well that certainly motivated the FBI

My best Cowboy Joke

A cowboy is hitching his horse in front of the saloon when a man storms out with a pistol. The cowboy walks into the bar, past a barfly with a half-empty drink, orders a beer and asks the barfly

“Who’s the guy who just stormed out looking for trouble?”

The barfly responds “Oh him? That...

Captain Flint and his crew of cutlass wielding marauders, set sail for Clew Bay, ready to take down the Filthy Five Hundred and collect upon their bounty.

Retrieving the heads of these skallywags will net him $1 per ear, and Captain Flint was ready to lay down his life for it. With $1000 he could buy an entire fleet with 50 men per ship. He'd be the most feared Pirate in the Atlantic!

After 2 days of fighting by sea and shore, Captain Flint an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wrote it me self

11 survivalists plan their escape and meet at 5 am in the forest. Ten men show off all the bounty, guns, food, water, batteries, everything you could need. A woman shows up late with a tiny rucksack. The men say, look at everything we brought, what the hell did you bring?

She answers: A vagi...

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head, sits down and orders a drink.

Bartender serves the pirate his drink, and asks about the paper towel.

The pirate smiles and says, "That be the bounty on me head!"

If anyone is still having trouble finding toilet paper or paper towels, I know a guy you can call...

Dog the Bounty Hunter. He's brawny and some people find him strangely charmin'.

What do you call an amphibian who catches criminals?

Frog the Bounty Hunter

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[REQUEST] Your favorite long, maybe a bit TOO long, but worth it joke.

Every day I read the bounty of /jokes, and maybe once a month I see a new one. It fills me with such joy. Also, I work with this amazing fellow who tells these 20 minute jokes, and I am almost out of return-fire ammunition.


See, I love long jokes, story jokes, and there seems to be a pauc...

A bounty hunter walks . . .

. . into the Sheriffs office and asks if he has any wanted posters.

" I just got the one today" He replies, "The Brown Paper Kid"

The bounty hunter asks "Why do they call him the Brown Paper Kid"

"Well he's got a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper shoes and brown pa...

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