UPJOKE

The Alphabet Jokes

Why can't pirates learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years at C.

When I was young, there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.

Nobody knew why.

Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?

Because all the other letters are Not-Cs

Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...

O B C D...

The first four letters of the alphabet are the hardest.

The rest are e-z.

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?

You'd think it'd be R, but it's the C they truly love!

How many letters are in the alphabet?

22, because E.T. went home and somebody shot J.R.

Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?

Because he was always lost at C!



[ I'm^so^sorry ]

What a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?

None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.

When I noticed "HI" in the alphabet I thought I had made a new friend

But then I saw the next two letters.

If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U

Cause you’re blocking the TV

Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents?

Because the rest of the letters are not-E.

I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet...

I don't know why.

Dad joke level grandpa: Why are the first 25 letters of the alphabet fascist?

Because they're not-z's.

Why don’t pirates know the alphabet?

Because they get lost at C

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny and the Alphabet

Little Johnny’s teacher announces to the class, “For today’s exercise, I will go through the alphabet and for each letter, select a student to share a word that begins with that letter.”

She scans the class and begins, “The first letter is A.”

Several students raise their hands, includ...

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with "I".

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after "I". Always put 'am' after "I".

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an "i" in it.

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an 'i' in it.

Johnny: I is...

Teacher: No, Johnny, when you say 'i', it should be followed by 'am'

Johnny: Okay, I am the 9th letter of the alphabet

Which letter in the alphabet has a shoe brand?

Adidas

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do they teach the alphabet in New Jersey?

Fuckin-A, Fuckin-B, Fuckin-C...

I’m no racist, except when it comes to people who like the 21st letter of the alphabet

U-people make me sick

A teacher is teaching her kindergarten class the alphabet.

Teacher: “Now, can you tell me the next two letters after M?”

Class: “NO”

The alphabet in 2021: ABDFGHJKLMNOQSVWXYZ.

There will be no more ER, ICU, or TP.

How a Chemist reads the alphabets

A B C D E F G water P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Donald Trump was asked "what comes after the letter b in alphabet"

Folks, let me tell you, this is a great question. It's a huge question, it's tremendous. Just last day a decorated veteran with tears in his eyes came to me and asked" sir, please sir, can you answer what comes after the letter b in alphabet?". And let me tell you, the answer is a big deal. It's a b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Canadian, an American and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.

They were given everything they needed to succeed and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.

The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration, he spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.

T...

What’s letter can pirates never get past in the alphabet

You think it’d be the Arrrr. But they’re always stuck at sea

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Johnny does the alphabet

Little johnny is in class and the teacher is going through the alphabet a letter at a time. She starts with the letter “A” and all the students eagerly put their hands up to say a word that begins with the letter A. Including Johnny. The teacher knows better, she knows if she picks johnnyhe is gon...

This one time a cop pulled me over and asked me to say the alphabet backwards...

...so I said "tebahpla eht" and I spent the whole night in jail.

For blind people the alphabet actually goes, “A,B,D”

It’s because they can’t see.

What's the turkey's favorite letter of the alphabet?

Gobble-You!

Note: my six year old made up this joke.

"Can you tell me what the second to last letter in the alphabet is?"

"Y"

"So I can make a stupid joke"

What’s the difference between the Cleveland Browns and the alphabet?

The alphabet has a “W”.

Someone asked me what the 9th letter of the Alphabet was.

It was a complete guess, but I was right.

Why can't pirates finish the alphabet?

The pirated version isn't the full edition.

The autobahn is like the alphabet...

...always a VW behind U.

The alphabet is terrifying.

A bee sea? No thank you

My friend asked me to tell her the 14th and 15th letters of the alphabet.

I told her no.

what part of the alphabet is the wettest?

H to O

Why can’t pirates sing the alphabet?

Because they get lost at sea!
(My friend told me this idk if someone else posted before)

I discovered a new letter of the alphabet

But it's hard to type

What's the second to last letter in the alphabet?

...

Because I want to know!?

(you have to say this one out loud to get it)

My son only knows the first 10 letters of the Alphabet

Turns out we sent him to a pre-k school.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny is learning the alphabet...

And you guys all know little Johnny, right? The kid is *no good.* He uses any excuse to disrupt class and say something rude. And his teacher is going through the alphabet and asking for examples of the letters.


"Who can tell me a word that starts with 'a'?"

Johnny's hand shoots up...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny was sitting in class when his teacher starts asking the class words for each letter of the alphabet.

asking the class words for each letter of the alphabet. She starts with A and little Johnny hand shoots up. The teacher thinks he is going to say ass I can't call on him. She calls on another student and she says.

"Apple. I gave my teacher an apple."

Teacher responds good job and moves...

What are water favorite letters of the alphabet?

H to O

Year 2020 passed like a kid reciting the alphabet.

January — ABCD...


February — EFG...


March — HIJK...


April to December — ELEMENOP.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Adolf Hitlers favorite letter of the alphabet?

I dont know but im 100% sure its not Z

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Six Letters of the Alphabet

Billy was a boy in kindergarten. At the end of the school day, the teacher gave the class a simple task.

“Ok class, I want you to go home tonight and learn the first six letters of the alphabet.”

So Billy left school determined to learn what the teacher had asked. When he got home, he ...

There were plans to change the design of the 21st letter of the alphabet but Ed Sheeran stopped them

He’s in love with the shape of u

Why couldn't the redditor complete the alphabet?

He was missing OC

How come the boat couldn’t recite the alphabet?

He’d always get lost at “C”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny and the Alphabet

Little Johnny is in kindergarten and loves to say curse words. His teacher has become rather annoyed with his bad habit, so much so that she second guesses even calling on little Johnny to answer questions. Today’s lesson was the alphabet. The teacher asks each student to raise their hand if they kn...

Too many letters in the alphabet

A teacher was going over the alphabet with her students. As they were counting the letters they kept getting 27 instead of 26. After a few more times counting and getting the same result, she realized she needed to use the restroom.

She went to the restroom and then returned to the alphab...

Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?

Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P

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