UPJOKE

That Bad Jokes

The Human Centipede wasn't that bad really..

...most of it was tongue in cheek.

Detroit isn't That Bad... Trust Me

A guy boards an airplane to Detroit and makes his way to his seat where he notices the guy sitting next to him looks very worried. He asks him if he's afraid of flying.

"No, my company is moving me to Detroit. I've heard terrible things about Detroit; I'm worried about my family."

The ...

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Hitler wasn't that bad.

I mean, he killed Hitler!

*although he killed the guy who killed Hitler. Man, that guy is the worst.*

...it's not that bad.

Bob was sitting on the plane, waiting to fly to Baltimore, when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, obviously in fear.

"What's the matter," Bob asked, "flying bother you?"

"No, I've been transferred to Baltimore. I've heard things are ...

Living with a tumor isn't all that bad

It sucks at first, but it'll grow on you

As far as disabilities go, being mute isn't that bad...

But I can't speak for everyone.

Men can’t be all that bad...

...I mean what else will female comedians talk about?

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I was that bad in geography

That I couldn't even find the class.

The NSA isn't all that bad

It's the only part of the American government that listens to its citizens!

Living with your drug dealer isn't all that bad

It has its percs.

Drowning doesn’t actually sound that bad

In fact it sounds quite breathtaking

Was my joke that bad?

I made a joke tonight and it did not get any reaction...

I said: being a gynecologist is the only job where you can still say "I'm between things"

What do you guys think?

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Hitler wasn't all that bad.

At least he treated all Jews equally...

Death can't be that bad.

At least no one has complained about it happening to them yet

Drugs are not that bad But when it comes to cocaine

We’ve got to draw a line somewhere.

Darth Vader is not that bad...

he is the first black guy to admit he is the father.

A guy watches as his girlfriend struggles to park. he says to her "I think you should get tested." "why" she says I'm no that bad of a driver am i?"

"No, I have chlamydia" he replies

Tree fetishists aren't that bad

Their bark is worse than their bite.

Skin cancer is not that bad

It grows on you

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My girlfriend told me having a small penis isnt that bad

I told her i just wish you didnt have one at all

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Was always of the opinion that bad posture didn't pose a threat to my physical well-being.

But after an appointment with my physiotherapist, I stand corrected.

Remember that bad joke about eyes?

I'll tell you a cornea one.

Alzheimer's can't be that bad

You get a chance to meet new people every day.

Russian Roulette isn't that bad

Infact 5 out of 6 doctors say Russian Roulette is perfectly safe.

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The Holocaust Wasn't That Bad

"The holocaust wasn't that bad."

"Of course it was!"

"I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown."

"Why the clown?"

"See, no one cares about the Jews."

What do you call a person with a house, and a retirement plan, that really isn't that bad?

An ok boomer

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History tends to judge Hitler rather harshly. He really wasn't that bad.

After all, he killed Hitler.

I saw that bad drivers could receive an on-the-spot fine of $500

I thought, that’s a bit racist...

Incest isn't really that bad. You can ask my mom, dad, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, and cousins.

They're both in the next room.

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Harold got in bed, kissed his lovely wife, and fell into a deep sleep. He awoke before the pearly Gates and St. Peter said..

“You died in your sleep, Harold.”

Harold was stunned. "I'm dead...? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back to my wife!”

St. Peter said, "Perhaps that can be arranged, but there aren’t many open spots right now. You’ve got two alternatives: you can come back to you...

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After a 2000 year absence, the Virgin Mary takes a trip down to earth.



After a couple of days, she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is the Virgin Mary. I met a man." Peter says to her, "That's not bad. This is how it is down on earth."

The next day she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is the Virgin Mary. I kissed the man. Is that bad?" Pe...

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I recently read in the news that bad drivers were going to get on the spot $100 fines

That's a bit sexist, isn't it?

The last time I saw an asian guy beat that badly.....

...it was by an indian girl at the Scripps National Spelling Bee

My 12-year-old son asked his grandfather what the worst thing about old age was...

Grandpa answered:

"It's erectile dysfunction."

My son asked:

"But is it really that bad?"

Grandpa replied:

"Imagine someone trying to play snooker with a rope... it's the same thing..."

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