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That's When The Fight Started Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That's how the fight got started...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I ...

Asked my wife if I could run my finger through her hair

She nodded and said she would like that.

I started brushing across her top lip,

And that's when the fight started....

My Wife and I Were Sitting at a Table

At her high school reunion, when she kept staring at a drunken man swigging a beer as he sat at a nearby table.

I asked her "Do you know him?"

"Yes" she sighed. "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago & he hasn't been ...

My girlfriend said, "I want a ring."

I said, "Take your phone off silent."

That's when the fight started.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My smart ass mouth always gets me in trouble.

I was rear-ended, which caused me to rear-end the car in front of me. The driver, who was a dwarf, approached
aggressively after the accident yelling, "I am NOT happy."

I decided that I would try to lighten things up and answered,
"OK, I can see that, but then which one are you?" ...

I took my wife to a restaurant

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....

Rear ended a little person while driving home. He hops out, walks back and screams...

"I AM NOT HAPPY!!!".....I asked him, "Which one are you then?" That's when the fight started.

My gf asks me,"Honey,do these pants make me look fat?"

"No"I said,"Your fat makes you look fat"

And that's when the fight started

A wife wants a fancy Porsche for her fiftieth birthday

She drops hints to her husband:

"You know we've had a really good year, heck, good decade, fiscally. For my birthday, I'm really hoping for something sleek, maybe baby blue. Something you can really step on and it'll go from 0 to 200 in like .2 seconds..."

The husband nods knowingly. S...

Used Clothing

Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.

Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash?

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use these clothes.

Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.

And that's when the fig...

I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary.

She smiled and said "Honey, I just want something shiny, that goes from 0 to 200 in a second".

So I bought her a brand new, shiny scale.

And that's when the fight started.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who wants to be a millionaire

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'


'No,' she answered.


I said, 'Is that your final answer?'


She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'


So I said, "...

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