Telling The Truth Jokes

Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.

A crisis gripped the State.

"Mr. Politician! How do you intend to solve this crisis!"

"Honestly...? I don't know. This is a very complex situation, with so many moving parts that it's far beyond the understanding of any one person, or even a small group. I don't know what I'm going to ... read more

Well, if it's a lion, you can tell right away.

I'm starting to think he was telling the truth.

Today is the last day of July.

What’s it called again?

Oh yeah, The News.

A man was pulled over by a police officer.

As the officer approached the vehicle he noticed a large number of knives in the back seat. Looking at the driver he asked, "Sir, do you have a good reason for needing all those large knives?"

Smiling the driver said, "Why yes, I juggle them... read more

and meet God at the gate. God tells them that he will give them cars to drive into heaven, but first they have to tell him how many times they cheated on their wives, and they shouldn't bother lying because he has a big record book of every person's actions.

God turns to the first man and ask... read more

A gal walks into a bar and orders a martini. "My boyfriend told me that I was 'One in a Million' over the weekend," she confides to the bartender. "Well, that was sweet of him," the bartender replies. "Yes, and after looking through the text messages on his phone while he was asleep I can see that h... read more

They all arrive at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter says "Let me ask you a question before admitting you to heaven."

To the first he says "My son, while on Earth did you lead a good life?"
"Oh yes, " says the first man," I had thirty years of marriage to a wonderful woman and I was hones... read more

His father was so happy with it. However, his mother, Karen, just couldn't believe her son got 90 in history.

After taking a closer look at the marks, she found that the handwriting style of the 9 and the 0 are different.

"Johnny, you are so busted. Tell me, did you add the 0 to yo... read more

Two brothers want to find out if Soviet Russia is really like the propaganda they hear in the West. They decide that the older brother will go to Soviet Russia to see for himself and write back what he sees. However, since the letter might get censored by the Soviet government, they decide that if t... read more

An Irishman, an Italian and a Polack are on death row, awaiting electrocution.
The warden takes the first man, and asks him if he has any last words. He says, 'I'm innocent. Perhaps years from now, evidence will show I"m telling the truth'.
The warden says, 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what t... read more

We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't

In King Solomon's court, two men and a woman stood before the king.

\- “This woman is my wife!" said the first man. “I married her 30 years ago!"

\- "No, she's my wife!” said the second man. “I married her 30 years ago, but this man just stole her from me!"

Solomon then turned t... read more

She approaches the pharmacist and says:
- I need three boxes of Acebutolol.

The pharmacist was shocked and asked:
- It's a very strong beta blocker, why do you need so much?

The woman replied:
- I want to kill my husband.

The pharmacist was shocked now even more and h... read more

Especially given recent events, it's important to be able to understand how to read a politician. Every politician has similar tells, you see...
When a politician rubs their nose, they're telling the truth.
When a politician scratches their chin, they're telling the truth.
When a poli... read more

The Genie nods and snaps his fingers, and the man is warped back to his home.

Eager to see if the Genie was telling the truth, the man tests his power on a friend. When he failed to make the right guess, he shouted in frustration.

"God. I KNEW this would happen!"

I wouldn't mind being the last man on Earth. At least I'd find out if all those girls were telling the truth.

“Any last words?” The murderer exclaims “I’m innocent!” They pull the handle, but nothing happens. The electricity doesn’t run. The priest, astonished, says “that’s a 1 in a million chance, it must be a sign from god. you have be telling the truth.” And the first murderer is free to go.

The s... read more

A man approaches his son and asks, "Did you push our outhouse into the ditch yesterday?"

The boy replies "No, father; I didn't push the outhouse into the ditch."

The man says "Did I ever tell you about George Washington, a great American hero? When George Washington was a child, he g... read more