UPJOKE

Tease Me Jokes

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My girlfriend is from India. She likes to tease me by sending a pic of herself clothed, and then one of her nude.

She calls it sari, not sari.

A couple go to the Zoo and stop next to a Gorilla’s cage

Husband: “Tease the gorilla like you tease me”

The wife promptly pulls up her shirt….the gorilla starts panting

Husband: “Tease him a little further like you tease me”

The wife mischievously pulls up her skirt….the gorilla is now running and jumping around

The husband ope...

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"

They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings

My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Shashank? Do you think you’ll be next?”

.

.



We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.

My girlfriend: Oh baby I want you to tease me.

Me: Plays three seconds of the SpongeBob Sweet Victory clip.

My Girlfriend: Oooh you dirty tease!

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The son told his mom: "I don't want to go to school today. The kids tease me, the teachers hate me."

"But Michael, you must be in school. You're the principal!"

A cop stops a Harley for travelling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name

'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a
break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then
presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that h...

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Twin jokes

I used to date an identical twin in college. The best part of it was that there were pretty much two of them due to the fact they looked exactly alike. My friends and family would joke and tease me all the time about how I can tell either of them apart. Never mind the beauty of my girlfriend at the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I recently got engaged, and used to visit my future in-laws' house quite frequently...

My fiance had a step sister, who used to tease me a lot. She used to stared at me across the dining table, used to bend down while wearing a skirt, etc.

A couple of days before the wedding, she called me at the house to help her make the invitation cards. When I arrived, there was no one at t...

Two eggs were boiling in a pot...[NSFW]

one eggs says "hey you wanna see my crack"? the other egg says "Dont tease me I ain't hard yet."

I don’t want to get up, Papa.

An elderly gentleman knocks on his son’s bedroom door. “John,” he says, “wake up!”

John answers, “I don’t want to get up, Papa.”

The father shouts, “Get up, you have to go to school.”

John says, “I don’t want to go to school.”

“Why not?” asks the father.

“Thre...

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