UPJOKE

Tastes Like Jokes

If your coffee tastes like mud...

It's probably fresh ground...

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NSFW Y'all know what 80-year-old pussy tastes like?

Depends

What tea tastes like milk?

Tit-tea

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A guy walks into a bar...

... and asks the bartender for a Jack and Coke. The bartender hands him an apple. The man, looking confused, asks, "What's this?" The bartender replies, "Take a bite out of the apple." The man does and surprised, he says, "Wow, this tastes like Jack Daniels!" The bartender says, "Now turn it around....

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a rum and coke, but the bartender hands him an apple.

"What the hell is this? I ordered a rum and coke," the guy protests.

"Just take a bite of the apple," says the bartender. So, the guy bites the apple, and his eyes light up.

"Hey this apple tastes just like rum! What did you soak it in it?"

The bartender tells him, "Turn it arou...

If it looks like Styrofoam, feels like Styrofoam, and tastes like Styrofoam.

It's a rice cracker.

My 12 year old son tried coffee for the first time today

"It tastes like dirt!"

I told him it was just ground this morning.

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A man walks into a bar...

...he approaches the barman and asks for a whiskey and coke.

"Take this apple."

"I don't want an apple. I want a JD and coke."

"Trust me, try the apple."

The man takes a bite, and exclaims "Christ! This tastes like Jack Daniels!"

"Yup. Turn it around."

"Wow!...

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What’s the difference in a Bud light and a clitoris?

A clitoris only tastes like piss for a second.

A hunter kills and eats a bald eagle, and is arrested for violating the Endangered Species Act. He pleads guilty, and throws himself on the mercy of the court.

"Your Honor," the hunter said, "I had no idea that it was illegal to kill and eat a bald eagle. If you let me go, I'll never do it again."

"You've committed a very serious crime," the judge replies. "But you clearly weren't aware of the law, so I'm willing to overlook it this one time. How...

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I know what Ancient Meats and Vegetables tastes like.

*spits gasoline out*
Fucking bad.

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My Wife's vagina tastes like a tropical fruit.

She'll let any mango in there.

"Waiter, this bread tastes like Marijuana"

"It was baked this morning"

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I've been told that my dick tastes like bacon...

But for me, the real story there is that my dog can talk.

non-alcoholic beer tastes like...

... licking your sister. Tastes right but something is wrong

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A man walk's into a bar the barman says "What can i get for you pal?"

The man replies " I'll have a rum and coke" the barman gives the man an apple. The man says "No i asked for a rum and coke the barman tells him to trust him and try the apple. The man bites into and says " Oh my god this is apple is amazing its taste's like Rum" the barman says "Turn it around" the ...

You know what's green and tastes like blue paint?

Green paint.

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A husband and wife were trying to think of ways to spice up their sex life...

So one day the man came home with some flavored condoms. That night they were in bed, and the wife went down under the covers.

A few seconds later she popped her head back up and said, "Ugh, that one tastes like cheese!"

And her husband said, "I didn't put it on yet."

I wonder what turtle tastes like?

It tastes like plastic.

What's silver and tastes like blood?

Razor Blades!

What do you call something that looks like pasta, and tastes like pasta, but isn't pasta?

An impasta.

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A teenage girl goes to her dad and asks if she can borrow

his Porsche for the night. Her dad says:"no", but she begs and begs and he comes up with a solution. He says: "Tell you what, you give me a blow job and the car is yours for the night". She is taken aback but finally decides that she will look so cool and her friends will be so envious and agrees. S...

This Gum Tastes Like Rubber

Condom-vending Machines are provided in some restrooms. When it comes to wall-scrawl, these dispensers take as much abuse as the wall above the urinals and the wisdom written in the stalls. Here are samples of what was scratched into the paint of various dispensers in the USA:

'This gum taste...

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Apple that tastes like a banana

An inventor goes to the Patents Office to demonstrate his new invention.

"It's an apple that tastes like a banana," he explains. "Try it!"

The official bites into the apple. "My god!" he exclaims, "that's brilliant. It tastes just like a banana!"

"Turn it round," says the invent...

What do you call tea that tastes like freedom?

LiberTEA

(Im not sorry)

How much soda do you have to drink before it tastes like birds?

Toucans

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Scientist invents an apple that tastes like... nsfw

Scientist invents an apple that tastes like pussy, his coworker takes a bit and spits it out,
“Tastes like shit” coworker says while wiping his mouth.
“Turn it around” says the scientist

I wonder what North Korean food tastes like...

Oh wait, there is no food.

I'm dating an older woman. When i go down you know what it tastes like?

Depends...

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I got drunk and told my arab neighbor’s wife her cooking tastes like shit

I really falafel about it

What do you call the chewy candy that tastes like a mongoose and kills snakes?

Riki Tiki Taffy

I work in a Cajun restaurant and people always ask what the alligator tastes like.

I tell them it tastes great, but we make ours out of baby alligator so it has a little bite to it.

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A man walks into a bar...

... and says to the bartender “I’ll take a whiskey coke please.”

The bartender says “no worries I have just the thing.” And sets an apple on the counter.

The man, baffled, asks “what the hell is this, I wanted a whiskey coke.” 

The bartender says “take a bite.”

The man ta...

I recently ate Donkey meat, I don't recommend it

It tastes like Ass

A man storms into a bakery and says "I want to make a complaint! This muffin is mouldy and tastes like cheese!"

The baker rolls his eyes and says "well, you did ask for a blue brie muffin."

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