UPJOKE

Tall Tree Jokes

Two tall trees - a birch and beech - are growing in the woods.



A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, ‘Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?’

The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, ‘Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son ...

A perfectly triangular lake has 3 kingdoms on its 3 sides

The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people, the second is humbler, but has its fair share of wealth and power. The third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

The kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it's a valuable r...

Why are tall trees so happy?

They are high.

A tall golf tale. It's a long one....

On Bryan's 35th birthday, his wife gave him a set of new golf clubs. He was excited to try them out, so he drove down to the country club to play. He noticed a man there, in his 60s, who also didn't have anyone to play with and asked him if he would like to join him. The older man agreed and told hi...

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Big Game Hunter goes to Siberia to hunt Russian Bear

When he arrives on the train station (probably the only one in Siberia) he is greeted by the village hunter/gatherer/provider who has a very mangy, tiny, old dog leashed with a massive iron chain.
\-"Right, I'll help you." says the native "Here's what we're going to need: A great big blow horn,...

The Battle of Three Kingdoms

There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.

The night...

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3 people are shipped wrecked on a desert island

A man, his wife, and a bachelor. The bachelor sees a tall tree and says "we should take shifts sitting on that tree and lookout for passing ships. I'll take the first watch." The couple agrees and relaxes on the beach.

A few minutes later the bachelor screams "hey! Stop fucking!" The couple ...

A guy goes trekking in the jungle.

A guy goes trekking in the jungle.

He comes across a man frantically searching for something under the sunlight that made it's way through the leaves of the tall trees.

He approaches the man and the below conversation follows:

Guy: What are you looking for?
Man: I am looking...

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Three kids play hide and seek..

One named Fuck You, one named Respect and one named Trouble.
They decide Trouble will count to twenty and Fuck You and Respect will hide.
Respect hide under a car and Fuck You is hiding on a tall tree.
An officer walks and sees Fuck You, he tells him “Hey kid! Get down here before you’ll fa...

A vampire challenges his friend

A vampire challenges his friend that he can kill faster than him. The go at the edge of a forest to hunt game. The first vampire goes at it, in 15 minutes returns all bloody after making his kill. The second vampire returns in only 1 minute, face all bloody like the other.

His friend is amaze...

A chemist, a physicist, and an economist...

are all trapped on a desert island, trying to figure out how to open a can of food.

"Let's heat the can over the fire until the can explodes" says the chemist.

"No, no," says the physicist, "lets drop the can onto the rocks from the top of a tall tree"

"I have an idea," says the...

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A bartender walks into a bar

goes behind the counter and does 12 hours of serving drinks to indifferent faces. They don't care about his life. He delays going home to his wife by flirting with a waitress, but he knows she's just being nice.

He goes home to a wife who hands him divorce papers, and his son at her side, no...

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