UPJOKE

Talking Horse Jokes

One day a farmer discovers he has a talking horse

So, after talking to it for awhile, the horse decides that it wants to learn how to play guitar. So the farmer does the only logical thing, and buys the horse a guitar. Somehow, the horse learns how to play the guitar, and tours the country on talk shows, concerts, and even meeting the president. Th...

The talking horse

A man is riding his moped on a dark evening along the countryside. At some point his moped's engine starts to stutter and dies. He's now forced to push his moped along this poorly lit road all the way till he gets home.

At some point, somewhere out of the dark, he hears a voice yelling "greas...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Talking Horse for Sale

A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, “Talking Horse for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out.


“So what have you done with your life?” he asks the horse.


“I’ve led a full life,” the horse answers miraculously. “I was born i...

I used to live next door to a talking horse

We were Neeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigghhhhbours

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The talking horse.

A man travels quietly in his car when suddenly it breaks down. The man is then forced to get off and check his car engine.

He did not understand what was happening when suddenly a brown horse with white spots approaches to see the car engine.

"It's the carburetor" the man listens, but ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse walks into a bar and asks for a Coke

A horse walks into a bar and asks for a Coke.

The bartender is very surprised yet he picks a Coke from the fridge and puts it on the counter.

Horse: “Thanks. How much?”

Bartender: “T... ten... d... dollars”

The horse gets his wallet from the saddle and pays 10$.

Ba...

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint.

The bartender is surprised, but he says:

\- Sure, it's 12€.
The horse pays and starts drinking. The bartender looks in amazement at the horse and says:
\- You know, I don't see many talking horses in my bar.
The horse finishes his drink and replies:
\- Not surprised, ...

A horse walks into a bar

A horse walks into a bar and says "bartender, scotch on the rocks please!"

The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "did.. did you just talk?!"

"Yes I have, why?" Said the horse

"It's just, incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was crossing the countryside in his car.

He had already been on the road for some time and he had a good way still to go when his motor hiccuped and died, and refused to start again.

The man popped the hood open and spent a few moments just cursing about the situation and trying to fix the engine, but he was no mechanic, so it seeme...

The two best racehorses in the country.

There were these two racehorses, Galem and Gollum. They were raised together and had been racing side by side their entire lives. Everyone loved to watch them. They were always faster than the other horses; as a matter of fact, they were the best racehorses in the country.



As good as ...

A guy walks into a bar and sees a horse behind the bar serving drinks

The man takes a seat at the bar, mouth wide open, stunned. The horse is interacting with customers, mixing drinks, taking meal orders, and giving change.

Finally the horse sees the man, and says “What’s the matter, buddy? Never seen a talking horse before?”

The man says, “No, it’s not ...

A man breaks down on a country road in Ireland and hears a voice.

He opens opens his bonnet/hood and looks at the engine. He knows nothing about cars and has no hope of fixing it, then he hears a voice "Check the alternator"....Where the hell did that voice come from, he looks round and leaning over a gate is a huge white horse looking at him "Check the alternator...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two greyhounds walk into a bar after a race

They sit down at the bar ask for a drink and start talking. Tommy looks at frank and says, "I don't know what it is frank. Ive just been having the worst luck at the track. It seems that no matter what I do I just cant finish better than 3rd. I've tried meditation, yoga, vitamins and nothing wor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse walks into a bar...

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "Why the long face?"

The horse replies: "My crippling alcoholism has caused my wife to leave me."

The bartender says "Holy shit a talking horse!"

Two greyhound are sitting in a stable

They are both boasting to each other about their racing victories. The first dog says "I've won six of my last ten races". The second dog replies with "That's nothing, I've won fourteen of my last twenty races". At this point, a fed up racehorse pokes his head round the corner and says "You're both ...

A travelling salesman stopped alongside a field on a country road to rest a few minutes.

The man had just closed his eyes when a horse came to the fence and began
to boast about his past.

"Yes sir, I'm a fine horse. I've run in 25 races and won over $5 million. I keep my trophies in the barn."

The salesman worked out the value of having a talking horse, found the hors...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.