UPJOKE

Take Out The Trash Jokes

Why did the blacksmith take out the trash?

Because it smelt bad.

Just came up with this taking out the trash.

Mom: Can you take out the trash?

Me: Sure. Where do you want to go?

My wife asked me to take out the trash

I spend few hours drinking with the trash, nice guy to hang out with.

My mom wanted me to take out the trash.

Now she panicking trying to find me.

I WOULD take out the trash.....

If only I could pick you up

Cop: *kicks door open* it’s time to take out the trash.

Cop’s wife: Stop kicking the door.

My wife says I never take out the trash. I disagree.

We just had our anniversary dinner last week.

Whenever I take out the trash I always say to my wife “bilbo”

That way she knows to put a new baggins

I asked my wife to take out the trash, and she said, "I'd sooner die. Find someone else to do your dirty work."

Can anyone recommend a good hitman?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two women were chatting in the airport lounge…

The younger one says “I must be jet lagged, I went to get my ticket to Pittsburgh and asked for a picket to dicksburgh”

The older one replies and says “I know what you mean, I called my husband to remind him to take out the trash and instead said ’you ruined my life you drunken bastard’”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This little boy came down to breakfast

and when he got to the table, his mom had ,bacon, eggs and milk on the table, but before he could eat, he had to take out the trash like his mother told him the night before. He was pissed, so he stormed out the door, and on his way to the trash bin he kicked a chicken, and then a pig and a cow. Whe...

I thought of you today.

It reminded me to take out the trash.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two nuns go into a liquor store

They want to buy a gallon of MD2020, the clerk says I can’t sell alcohol to nuns. The nuns say it’s for mother superiors constipation, so he sells it to them. A half an hour later the clerk goes to take out the trash and he finds the two nuns stinking drunk. He says Sisters I’m shocked, you said it ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Somewhere in Siberia

Note: translated from another language(dirty)

Long

Siberia, it's super cold,freezing, a man is crawling, struggling hard, he's on a verge of death. Suddenly he sees a light not far out. Using his last bit of strength he reaches a small house. Knocks on a door. No answer. He opens the d...

I used to have a job that payed $100/hr

On Sunday evenings my grandpa gave me $5 to take out the trash. It took 3 minutes.

A man goes in to see his doctor about an illness and brings his wife

After a short time, the doctor and man walk into the waiting room, and the doctor beckons the wife to talk to her privately.

“What’s the diagnosis? Is he going to be alright?” the wife asked.

“I’m afraid he isn’t looking good,” the doctor replied. “In fact, there’s a great chance he’ll...

A joke my dad has been telling for 45 years

My dad played high school baseball, and the second baseman, John, eventually grew up to be a very successful accountant and married his high school sweetheart. Over the next 25 years, John also collected rare and antique baseball cards, eventually accumulating the world's most expensive collection…<...

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