Take A Shower Jokes

She figured she could just wash up on shore.

Because they are starting to smell again

He was a little Messi.

Yes, if you have enough

She had big lights installed in the top of her shower and it was full of plants. I had to take all the plants out to use it. When she saw me taking the plants out she said "what are you doing?! that's a *grower*, not a *shower*!!"

Because it may Pikachu.

He wanted to tell dirty jokes.

A man was in a bathroom getting ready to take a shower, and his wife heard a loud noise from outside. Concerned something had happened she asked, "What was that noise?"
The man replied, " It was just my underwear falling".
Unsure the wife asked again, "That noise was a bit loud for it to be ju... read more

If you take a shower with your clothes off, it shows your nuts.

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank...!

*He soon found himself on an island with no flagstaff, no batmen, no ADC, no club, no canteen, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.*

After about four months,... read more

Papa heads in to take a shower and yells to his wife, “Ima head’n in to take a shower.
You’ll hear me yodel’n.
If I stop yodel’n, come in and fetch me out as I’ve either fallen or fallen asleep”
“But Papa, mama cries,
“how’ll we know if you’re just in there fiddle’n yaself?”
Papa re... read more

The Husband comes home with new vacuum cleaner, the kind his wife really wanted. His wife gets suspicious and asks him where he got it from?

He answers:” Remember that shop we went last week, where we saw this vacuum and this sweet lady helped us out and showed us everything about it but we ... read more

a bald man decides to take a shower, he enters the bathroom, slips due to water on the ground, falls on his head, slips again.

Today I feel too lazy to take a shower.

****THE TOILET SEAT****

My wife, Judy, had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet.

Finally, I got around to doing it while Judy was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came home and undressed to t... read more

In the first apartment was a boxer named Sean. In the second apartment was a soccer player named Andres. In the third was a blind man named Ian, and in the 4th apartment was a beautiful woman named Elizabeth. One day, Elizabeth decided to take a shower. She got in the shower then heard the doorbell ... read more

I was told to do my all chores, eat my veggies, take a shower and brush my teeth.

It was then I realized I was in the mother ship.

A woman was taking a shower, in the upstairs bathroom, she gets finished and puts on a towel over her.

Her husband takes a shower right after her. When the husband walks in to take a shower the doorbell rings.

So the woman goes to answer the door ... It is there next door neighbor (S... read more

A man goes to the doctor and complains, "Doc I don't know why but every morning before I leave for work I dry heave and almost vomit!"

The doctor says, "Well describe your morning routine to me, if you would."

The man says, "Well my alarm goes off, I get up and have a glass of juice an... read more

A woman moves in with her balding programmer boyfriend and immediately gets concerned about his nighttime routine. Every night he takes a 2 hour shower and goes to bed complaining that his arms hurt. She also noticed that he has an entire closet full of shampoo. After a few weeks she can't take it a... read more

When I take a shower I realize how people missed opportunities to cleverly insult me

He asks inmates about their daily routine

Prisoner1: i wake up eat,exercice, do laundry and take a shower

Prisoner2: i wake up read a book eat and after that i do laundry

Prisoner3: i wake up take a shower, eat and take a walk.

The journalist then asks him, dont you do la... read more