UPJOKE

Did you guys hear about the nun with super powers?

When she flies over, people say:

"It's a bird!"

"It's a plane!"

"It's Superman!"

"No! It's Nun of the Above!"

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

I Have Super Powers

I just melted an ice cube by staring at it…..

Took a bit longer than I thought it would, though.

There was a recent test of one man's super powers...

He was found to be cape able.

What do you call an ant that can't speak but has super powers?

Mutant

In 1973, the Six Million Dollar Man consisted of a bionic man with super powers...

In 2016, the Six Million Dollar Man consists of two hip replacements.

I was amazed

As I get older, I never stop learning new things every day. I'm a new dad and the other day I was changing my baby when all of a sudden my kid rolls off of the changing table. As if animal instincts kicked into me in that split moment, or super powers of sorts, I swoop down with lightning speed and ...

We’ve started calling Grandad Spider-Man…

It’s not that he’s got super powers, he just can’t get out of the bath.

A guy lives in my building with the ability to change locks and unclog drains at will

He has super powers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[OC] Inspector Gadget is sitting in his therapist's office, ranting...

“no, I actually love to be the center of attention, I love being able to say ‘go gadget rocket shoes’ and catch up to a car on foot, the super powers are great. It’s the tedium of life as a cybernetic man outside the spotlight that get to me. I’ve got four separate bowel systems to maintain and ever...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Luke cage

In marvels luke cage everyone thinks that luke has super powers because he's bullet proof.

But bullet proof black people isn't a super power it's straight up evolution.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Super baby

A man was sitting outside his wife's hospital room while she was giving birth. Finally, after half an hour of anxious anticipation, the doctor emerges from the ward holding the baby in his arms.

"Congratulations Mr Smith, it's a boy. Not only that, this baby has super powers!"

The man,...

Superpowers....

Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
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“No”, she replies sleepily.
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“I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me havin...

Getting a job right out of college...

ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:
Hiring recent college grads.

REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers.

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