UPJOKE

Super Long Jokes

The money jar

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money; he asks the bartender what it’s for, and he replies, “There’s a cow in the back. If you can make her laugh, the jar is yours,” so the man goes out back and comes out a moment later and grabs the jar, The bartender goes to the back and sees the cow...

A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom..

he waits in the ticket line for a really long time but eventually gets his tickets, he wants to rent a limo so he waits in a long line again until he gets his limo, he goes to buy flowers and again the line is super long. At prom, she asks him to go grab her a drink, and there is no punchline.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Students from Asia Came to My High School...

They were twins, a guy, Ving, and a girl, Ling. Ving is in my math class, and the dude's like a math wiz. I'm really struggling, so I ask Ving if he'd give me a hand on the homework. Ving says yeah, he just wants me to do him a favor. I'm like yeah sure what. He asks me to drive him to the city hall...

Heard this joke from a friend

A man wants to go on a date with his girlfriend. He goes to buy a suit, but the line was super long and took him 3 hours, but it was worth it. Next he went to buy himself a ring and guess what? The line took him 3 hours, but it was worth it.

When the day of the date came they had a fabulous ...

A blonde, redhead, and brunette are trying to cross a river...

... when they come across a genie lamp. The genie comes out and grants them each one wish.

The blonde wished she was smart enough to cross the river, and the genie taught her how to swim. She swam across and got her makeup wet and stormed off.

The redhead wished she was smart enough to...

Some African animals playing cards in Las Vegas.

Lion: Stop taking extremely quick glances at my card, you're a cheetah!

Cheetah: No, your Lion!

Warthog: You guys are just ignoring the guy with the super long nose who can suck up cards while nobody notices.

Elephant: Well I wouldn't be so hungry for cards if you weren't HOGGIN...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Well Trained Frogs

A woman walks into a sex shop looking for a dildo. In the back of the shop, she sees an aquarium filled with giant frogs. She asks the owner of the shop about the frogs.


“These are very special frogs. I have trained them personally to give the best cunnilingus in the world.”

The...

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