UPJOKE

Strap On Jokes

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Girlfriend says if this gets a thousand up votes she'll let me try anal

please don't her strap on is huge

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My girlfriend said if we get 100 upvotes we'll try anal

So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me

It's quite ironic that "strap on"…

…backwards, spells 'no parts'…

What do you call a dinosaur with a strap on?

Pegosaurus Rex

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After 20 years of marriage

After 20 years of marriage, the wife finds out that her husband has been using a strap on dildo to fuck her their entire marriage.

Angry about this, she confronts her husband. “What’s with the dildo?”

Calmly he replies, “What’s with the kids?”

Has anyone else noticed that “strap on”

Is “No parts” backwards. How ironic

What do you call a straight woman with a strap on?

Peggy

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A girl once asked if I like being fucked in the ass with a strap on.

I responded, "You have me pegged."

A girl picked me up from bar, took me to her place , blindfolded me, promised to show me the time of my life , and pegged me with her strap on. My friend says I was assaulted.

I failed to see the problem.

My girlfriend said she wanted to try doggy style. Naturally I was enthusiastic.

Until she pulled out the strap on.

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What do you call a stripper

What do you call a stripper with a strap on?

Strapped for cash!

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My wife has finally agreed to anal tonight, but I have just one question...

What's a strap on?

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My Ex and I

My Ex and I explored my Bisexual side.
She got a strap on…
My Hetero sex life is behind me now…

Jokes

Vegan hot dogs are basically the strap on of food .




You want the sausage but not the meat

Covid vaccine side effects

So I’m in line for my covid vaccine and there’s an older gentleman in front of me…

We get called up simultaneously and both get sat next to each other.
I over heard his discussion with the doctor…

“What’s is your insurance? Date of birth? When was your last appointment?”

The...

My wife and I were having some marital issues but we have moved on.

We have been doing it doggy style a lot lately, too much if you ask me. I guess I shouldn’t complain. Her strap on, her rules.

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I like to practice safe sex

Why?

Because I'm a guy, and I'm smarter, obviously

What do women say, with their small brains, every time I put on a condom? What do they say, every time?

"Why are you wearing a condom when I'm fucking you with a strap on?"

"To be safe, bitch"

What is the difference between a vacuum and a snowboarder?

How you strap on the dirtbag.

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A businessman was going on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone.

So he went to a sex shop and started looking around. He goes up to the clerk and explains his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, strap ons, eggs, bullets, wing-wangers and fling-flongers..."

The Businessman in...

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A Japanese man, a British man, an American man, and a Mexican man go skydiving together...

A Japanese man, a British man, an American man, and a Mexican man go skydiving together. As they reach the intended height, the intructor says, "One by one, strap on your parachutes and jump out." The Japanese man gets up, straps on his parachute, and jumps out, yelling "Remember the Emperor!" Next,...

Every now and then I see something that brings a little tear to my eye.

Last night it was my wife wearing her strap on.

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