UPJOKE
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A little girl is strolling through the garden with her father. She stoops down to examine a spiderweb.

"Daddy, what's that?"

"It's a spider, dear. A daddy-long-legs."

"So if this one is a daddy, does that mean that it marries a mommy-long-legs?"

Amused, he responds "No honey, they only marry another daddy-long-legs."

She stands and pauses to think for a moment. Suddenly ...

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A man is walking down the beach,

When he sees a woman with no arms and legs; as he gets closer he can hear her gently sobbing.

"What's wrong ma'am?" He inquired earnestly.

"Well you see, I was born like this, and because of it I've never gotten close to a man, I've never even hugged one."

The man contemplates t...

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A wealthy man goes to Rome...

...in one of his finest suits the hope that when he visits the Vatican, he can be granted an audience with the Holy Father. During one of the Papal processions, he manages to make his way to the front of the barrier as the Pontiff walks past them. Instead, the Pope completely blanks the man, and sto...

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