UPJOKE

Still Single Jokes

I’m into girls, and I’m into guys, yet I’m still single.

So I guess you could say I’m all bi-myself.

I asked Siri why I'm still single...

It opened the front camera.

Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single.

One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"

Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."

His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I...

A woman on a dating site sent me a message saying, "Wow! Your gorgeous, how come your still single?"

"It's spelled 'you're'," I replied.

Why is the count from Sesame Street still single?

Because he doesn't ever wanna Miss Count.

So you like men and women, but you’re still single...

I guess you’re just Bi-yourself

40 years old and still single.

The son of a Billionaire was tired of his bad luck at finding a woman to marry. His father was sickly and he realized that soon he could be inheriting a fortune.

So that evening he thought of a way he could use his dad's fortune and bad health to his advantage.

He saw a beautiful woma...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Still single

I was in a restaurant the other day and saw the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. After starters and my first beer I convinced myself that I had to talk to her.
So there I was talking to her. We actually had the rest of diner together and after dessert I already knew that I had to marry this ...

George goes to see a hooker. It’s his 50th birthday and although still single, he needs to celerate. [nsfw]

So off he goes to the ladies of pleasure and sees a rather big woman he wants to “go to town with”. In he goes, starts to go down when suddenly he feels something stuck between his teeth. He uncomfortably pauzes and tries to take out what appeared to be a piece of carrot. A bit weirded out because h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As I get older many of my buddies are now getting married. As I am still single loads of people keep telling how my friends and friendships will change once they get married...

So far I disagree with this sentiment, I am still close friends with all of my buddies, even after they’ve been married for years and years.



But I can say without a doubt that my friends really do change as soon as they become Dads, they immediately become real motherfuckers!

While at work, I think I've finally come to a conclusion on why I'm still single. For years, I've blamed other people, or my weight, or my location, but I think I've found the real explanation.

If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe, I'd be married a long time ago.

In Hong Kong, there once lived a rich prestigious old man known as Grandpa Li.

Grandpa Li lived together with Grandma Li in a big mansion with 3 daughters, each known as Miss Li.

The eldest Miss Li got married. Since she came from a very prestigious family, she decided to keep her last name, and then known as Madam Li.

Madam Li had a Son and a Daughter. They are ...

Newton said "The greater the mass, the greater the force of attraction"

Yet here I am. Still single.

I asked a girl out, She said she would go out with me if I could explain to her what a NFT was

Yeah, I'm still single

Looks doesn´t really matter

* Girl: The reason why you´re still single is because your standards are too high. Looks doesn´t really matter, you know.
* Boy: Wow! You´re the first non-beautiful person that I´ve heard say that looks doesn´t matter..
* Girl: WHAT?! Are you calling ME ugly!!!
* Boy: Why so upset? You just...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My love life is like my dick

Still single, and still nonexistent.

I rang the hotel receptionist last night, and asked them for a wake up call.

She said "You´re 30 years old, still single, still living with your mother, and you´ve achieved absolutely nothing in life".

AXE products claim if you smell good, women will be all over you, but that can't be right

I've never had any problems with my nose and I'm still single.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.