UPJOKE

Still Married Jokes

A guy is doing 90 in a 75 and sees lights from a patrol car in the mirror...

He thinks furiously for a moment and then floors it, 95... 100.. 110... Finally, with the officer still hot on his tail he slows to a crawl and pulls over to the roadside.

The officer, obviously on edge, cautiously approaches the car as the man rolls down the window and places hands out where...

While we were on our honeymoon, I sheepishly told my wife that I was still married to someone else.

She thought that was really bigamy to admit.

They say divorce is ruining marriage, but my wife's parents are still married...

...and so are my girlfriend's.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two friends, a rich one and a poor one, got married on the same day.

20 years later, they're both still married, and planning their special anniversary celebrations.

Dave, the poor one, asks Phil, the rich one, what he got his wife for their anniversary.

"Oh, I got her a diamond ring and a new Mercedes."

"Really? Why did you get her a diamond ri...

The other day, I was cleaning out the attic with my wife. Filthy, dirty, covered in cobwebs...

but I still married her

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

That means you are Gay

A Man In Night Club..
Bartender: Who Are You? I’ve never seen you before.
Man: Yeah! I just lost my job and came here for a drink.
Bartender: What kind of Job?
Man: Well. I am a Consultant.
Bartender: Whats that?
Man: Its a logical thinker.
Bartender: Logical Think, what? <...

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