UPJOKE

I started a band called 999 Megabytes

We still haven't gotten a gig.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I started a new job. My boss said "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky". I said "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick".

She said "how do you get Dick from Kyle?"
I replied "you just ask nicely".

Russia started a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies.

Nyetflix.

I started a company...

I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

Eminem has started a vaccine company

You only get one shot

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The college teacher noticed that his exchange student, André, suddenly had started attracting a lot of female attention

So, one day he asks André about his secret. André replies: "Well, before sex I simply whip out my willy and smack it against the bedside table, like a hammer. It numbs it up and makes me last longer".

Later that day, the college teacher gets home to his wife and finds her in the shower - a we...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend started a tattoo parlor that only accepts payment in the form of flashing.

They named it tit for tat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I started a dating site for older people.

OK Boomer

I've just started a new business selling trampolines in Prague

Getting a lot of orders, but the Czechs keep bouncing.

I started a nightclub for men with erectile dysfunction.

It was a flop and nobody came.

My wife and I started a bank account to help with our weed budget

It's our joint account

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