This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my girlfriend to dress up as my favourite Star Wars character for some sexy roleplaying fun.

I walked into the bedroom that night and I was shocked,

"Love, Jabba the Hut is not my favourite Star Wars character" I exclaimed,

"Fuck off" She shouted "I haven't got dressed yet"

3 dirty Star Wars jokes

1) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he finally got inside Princess Leia?

Because it was Luke warm

2) Why was Han Solo suspicious when he was eating Princess Leia?

Because she felt chewy

3) Did Han do the right thing when he confronted Leia about these?

No, that nig...

Why were Star Wars episodes 4,5,6 released before 1,2,3?

Because in charge of planning, Yoda was.

Who swore the most in star wars?

R2-D2, they beeped out every word he said

Did you hear about the Spanish Star Wars spin-off?

It’s about the chosen Juan.

You know Darth Maul from Star Wars?

He's only half the man he used to be.

What kind of car does a Star Wars memorabilia collector drive?

a Toy-Yoda

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Nsfw] My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom...

...The only catch was I had to be Obi Wan, because she always had a thing for Ewan McGregor.

"Of course!" I said, and got to work putting together the sexiest Obi Wan costume I could. I even managed to find Glow in the Dark condoms so I could impress her with my "lightsaber".

The nigh...

Star Wars Trivia: What is the internal Temperature of a TaunTaun?

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Luke-Warm

Friend: do you know that one guy who just cant have a conversation without quoting star wars?

Me: well of course I know him, he is me

My friend asked me if the next Star Wars movies were going to be in 3D

"Yes" I replied "...but they R2D2."

I tried asking girls out at a Star Wars convention

I've been looking for love in Alderaan places.

My wife loves Star Wars...

so last night we watched all the Mandalorian, back to back!

Luckily, I was the one facing the TV...

Why do Star Wars Jedi absolutely hate having to open PDF files ?

Because attachments are forbidden.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's masturbation called in the star wars universe?

Hand Solo

The biggest tragedy in Star Wars is their lack of information on one of their greatest unsung heroes.

I mean, he brought the Rebels the plans for the second Death Star before he died, but that is all we know about Manny Bothans.

What do you call a star wars bounty hunter who loves tropical fruit ?

Mango Fett.

TIL the next Star Wars movie will debut a new droid with a comically-short attention span.

Its name is 80-HD

For the Star Wars Lovers

Obi-Wan: Why did the movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9?

Yoda: In charge of scheduling, I was.

[OC] I'm only attracted to guys who look sorta like the bounty hunter from Star Wars

Fettish

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t enjoy Star Wars puns...

Then you’re looking in Alderaan places

I was going to make a Star Wars joke today...

But I didn't want to fourth it.

(from my 9 year old) What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?

Na-BOO!

Bad VR star wars joke

So there's a guy playing at VR game his friend walks into the room and sees him swinging his hands around like he's swinging a lightsaber and he assumes he's playing beat saber and judging from the height of his swings there are a lot of low blocks his friend taps hin on the shoulder and says hey ca...

Party games are so different in the Star Wars galaxy...

For example on Earth you bob for apples, but on Tatooine you Bib Fortuna.

If you celebrate Star Wars Day too hard tonight...

watch out for the revenge of the fifth.

Star Wars names are just regular words if you put a random space somewhere:

Mos Quito

Que Sadilla

Scu Bagear

Syn Tax

Rev Erse

Mala Mute

Trypto Phan

Cano Nical

Impo Tent

Slee Papnea

Jonathon Ross forgot to record the new Star Wars film...

What a wookie mistake

My wife screamed at me, "You're obsessed with those Star Wars movies. I'm leaving you."

"May divorce be with you!!" I replied.

Who played Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels?

Emperor Palpatine

My girlfriend left me because I’m a big Star Wars fan

Looks like tonight I’ll be Han Solo.

Here's an old one. Who curses the most in Star Wars?

R2-D2, everything he says is bleeped out.

Thought this up while driving behind a car with a Star Wars Rebel sticker on it.

What is the favorite type of weather of Stormtroopers?

Mist

My son Luke loves the fact he's named after a Star Wars character

My daughter Chewbacca, not so much

Did you hear that Disney+ is making a crossover between Star Wars and Back to the Future where the time machine is half car and half person?

It’s called the Man-DeLorean.

Why is vodka so hard to obtain in the Star Wars universe?

Because only Siths deal in Absolut.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my girlfriend we can either have sex, or go see Star Wars.

She said "I'm on my period and Star Wars is sold out," but she pulled some strings and got me in.

Who's the fruitiest character in Star Wars?

The Mangolorian.

(Made up for an eight year old)

Haven't seen the new Star Wars yet...

But everybody posting spoilers about how Princess Leia dies

A quarterback was being interviewed only moments before the start of the game. The reporter had 3 quick questions: "Your favorite pizza? Your favorite Star Wars character? Your favorite non-football activity?"

His answers were just as brief:

"Hut, Hutt, Hike!"

My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.

However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.

I’ve been watching the Star Wars movies, and I realized something

It’s not that big of a shock that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father.


I mean, they have the same no’s.

(OC) Arthur C Clarke was watching Star Wars with his family when he began ranting and raving.

“What is this film?” He snarled. “All they do is lay lands, tap them to produce mana and use that mana to summon creatures and cast devastating spells. I was expecting a space romp.”

“Arthur, come now,” his wife said, “that’s not what this film is about at all!”

“Ignorant woman,” he re...

For my cake day this year I want to share the love I have of Star Wars and dad jokes so here is one of my favorites: Where did Luke get this cybernetic hand from?

The second hand store.

What Star Wars character would be best at limbo?

Han So Low

The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through (spoilers)

Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said "Can I have a word?"

Apparently there’s a battle for the rights to Star Wars aftershave.

It’s “The Cologne Wars.”

Please enjoy my best ever Star Wars themed joke...

Irving was proud of his daughter Faith. She was the prettiest, smartest, most charming girl in all the Empire. And when Faith was asked to attend the Winter Gala by Conan Antonio, Irving was justifiably pleased, for Conan was a well-decorated and many-times-promoted military man of great respect....

Star Wars is about the eternal conflict between two opposing forces. One headhunts children across the galaxy, puts them into a religious cult, indoctrinates them, even forbids them from having a relationship, then sends them off to die in the nearest war.

The other is the Sith.

Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?

It's a perfect 5/7.

So my friend decided to get a face tattoo of her favourite Star Wars character

You should've seen the Luke on her face.

Quarantined Star Wars troopers be like "I miss people"

First off all, you always miss.

Did you hear they finally revealed Yoda's surname on that new Star Wars show??

I can't believe it's Layheehoo

Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.

She asked how warm is it inside. I replied Lukewarm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the most popular Star Wars action figure in Japan?

Toy-Yoda.

Latest results from the Star Wars Cup.

OB - 1, R2D - 2

What did the Star Wars fan with a lisp say?

May the Fourth be with you.

I got into a huge fight with my husband, who was a star war fanatic.

"May divorce be with you. " he said.

Why does Star Wars have a classical music score?

Because the Empire likes Bach!

What do you call someone who tells you that you must see the new Star Wars series?

A Mandatorian

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is just like my favourite Star Wars character.

Hand Solo

What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?

HDMI

In the original Star Wars Peter Mayhew once had to redo a scene because he missed his cue.

It was a Wookiee mistake

RIP Peter.

Star wars joke

Han solo: Yoda are we going the right way?
Yoda: Off course we are

WARNING: STAR WARS SPOILERS

Voosh voosh pew pew pew voosh voosh pew pew voosh force choke voosh pew pew pew

What’s a Star Wars fan’s favourite drink

Qui Gon Gin

In Star Wars, what language is used to program droids?

JawaScript

Since its may the 4th, I decided to watch the classic Star Wars trilogy with my girlfriend.

First time she ever saw Chewbacca, and she thought he was an Ewok... ... ...

Classic wookie mistake.

(Oldie, but never gets olde)

Droids claim they were molested by George Lucas during filming for Star Wars...

#R2MeToo

why aren't star wars jokes popular?

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they are usually quite *forced*

(just like this one)

What are Star Wars clone troopers muscles built of?

Kamino acids.

Oh, sure everyone loves Star Wars on May 4th...

Until you tell your nephew you’re his father!

After watching Star Wars with my son for the first time today, he looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, why was R2D2 so dirty?"

Puzzled, I asked him what he meant.

He replied, "Well, they had to bleep out every word he said!"

What does your Canadian friend cooking dinner for you have in common with the Empire from Star Wars?

Pal-poutine

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Sorry, I'll get my coat.

How did Mace die in Star Wars?

Through the Windu

Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2

Save up to $2160 by not buying it

Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

What's the difference between Star Wars fans and Star Wars haters?

the fans enjoyed 2 of the movies

Ever wonder why Star Wars has so many plot holes?

It's because the stormtroopers keep missing

1 My kid’s made up Star Wars joke: What does Darth Vader exhale?

Carbon Darkside

Star Wars Trailer: No one is ever really gone...

"Meesa lead tha First Order to victory now, okietay?"

Did you know Chuck Norris was in every star wars movie?

He played the force.

My wife says she's leaving me because of my 'Obsession with Star Wars'

I said 'Please don't go, honey. You're the Obi-Wan for me..............'

Fozzy Bear was in Star Wars

He was an Ewokka-wokka

Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.

My Star Wars obsessed son wouldn't stop asking for a car.

So I bought him a toy Yoda.

My son's Star Wars joke.

What do you give to a stinky Jedi?

De-Yoda-rant

What do you call a Star Wars themed all you can eat restaurant?

Bo-buffet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Star Wars fans don't smoke cigarettes after sex...

They chew 'bacca

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