UPJOKE

Standing Up Jokes

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Nobody believes me, but I only have standing up.

Iā€™m not lying.

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up", said the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?", inquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

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Why don't Baptists have standing up?

Someone might think they are dancing.

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Three stages of in marriage.

Stage one: Whole house . You and your partner have in every room of the house. Standing up, bending over, on any surface available.

Stage two: Bedroom . You and your partner only have in the bedroom... after you shower... with the lights off.

Stage three: Hall . ...

The difference between standing up and falling down...

The difference between standing up and falling down is actually staggering

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Why don't baptist have standing up?

It looks too much like dancing.

Why do men pee standing up?

Because they can't stand sitting down!

What do men do standing up and women do sitting down and dogs do by lifting one leg?

Shake hands, of course!

Why are people always hotter when they're standing up?

Sitting down they're only 90 degrees, standing up they're 180.

The bus crash that landed me in hospital was caused by a guy standing up to offer a lady his seat.

He'll never work as a bus driver again.

Standing up for a short person

I saw a bunch of people bullying a short person. It was unnaceptable! They were saying things like "hey, how's the weather like down there?" I had to defend him, so I said,"woah there, that's a low blow."


I don't understand why he got so mad...
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