UPJOKE

What's the difference between St Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

On St. Paddy's Day, everyone pretends to be Irish.

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An American college student is in Dublin on St Patrick’s Day

So an American college student goes to Ireland for St Patrick's Day. He's getting hammered in a pub, and goes to take a leak. He steps up to the urinal, and this little guy, with a bright orange beard, and all in green, steps up next to him, whips out this giant dick and starts pissing too. The Amer...

People tomorrow on St Patrick's Day are gonna be like

elbow bump me, I'm Irish!

In honor of St Patrick's Day being a warm day,

In honor of St Patrick's Day being a warm day, I plan on having a beer outside sitting on our Paddy O'Furniture.

A joke for St Patrick's Day. "An Irishman walks out of a bar."

Well, theoretically, it could happen...

Remember it's St Patrick's day today, try and stand out from the crowd...

... wear all orange, it's also an Irish color

My Fav St Pat's Day joke, "What is green and sits on your back porch?"

Patio (Paddy'O) Furnitue

Happy St Patrick's Day my internet friends!

In honour of St Patrick's day, can you guess my Irish name?

Pat MiGroin.

Yeah, my grandpa just told me that one...some visual images cannot be unseen.

Drunk Irishman

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy replies, 'OK Mick, I'll be on my way then'. Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his...

I'm so proud of my mother-in-law

We were sitting down to our St Patrick's day dinner. And I announced, "I took extra pickles, so Dill with it." I thought I was clever but she did me one better. She smiled sweetly and said, "That's ok. Today I'm Dublin everything!"

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An Irish bar

A drunk Irishman sitting at a bar starts talking to the gentleman next to him.

'Where you from?' He asks the stranger.

'Born and raised in Dublin, Ireland." The stranger says raising his glass.

'Get the fuck out of here, I was born and raised in Dublin also!" The man cries in s...

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A guy walks into the bathroom and sees a leprechaun

A man walks into the bathroom and sees a leprechaun taking a piss. The man grabs the leprechaun and says, "I got you, where's the gold?"
The leprechaun tells the man the he will give him the gold but first he needs the man to answer 3 questions and do one task.
The man agrees and the leprec...

Father Thomas in NYC

Father Thomas having just graduated from seminary in Kansas was assigned to St Patrick's in NYC. When he arrived, he was greeted by the Mother Superior, who told him that Pastor Sean was out> The mother superior suggested that Thomas take a walk around NYC and see the sights. As he's walking down...

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The leprechaun

A man got himself a wee bit too drunk on St Patrick's day and is stumbling towards home. As he comes up to his stoop he trips and goes flying headlong into the bushes. Much to his surprise he spies a leprechaun and managed to nab him by the neck. "I gotcha! Now show me to your pot o gold!" He slurre...

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