Four guys have been going on the same golfing trip to St Andrews for many years.. Two days before the group is to leave, John's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. John's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find John sitting at the bar with four drinks set up! "Wow, John, how long you been here, and how did you talk your Missus into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since last night... Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and ...
Old Scottish joke I remembered that just became relevant again...
The head greenkeeper of St Andrews golf course was out inspecting the greens one morning when he spotted a golfer bending over the stream on the 18th, scooping up water with his hand and drinking it.
'Haw', he shouted, 'Ye shouldnae drink that watter, it's got coo's pish in it!'
The go...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The pearly whites gates of heaven
A group of nuns arrived at the gates of heaven. Standing there is St andrew. The nuns line up and St andrew asks the first one question. He says "Before you enter i must ask, have you ever touched a penis " The nun quietly says "yes, but only with my fingertips" St andrew tells her to wash her...
An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman are in a bar with their sons.
They start to introduce their sons to the rest of the group. The Englishman says "This is my son George. We called him that because he was born on St George's Day."
The Scotsman says "This is my son Andrew. We called him that because he was born on St Andrew's Day."
The Irishman loo...
An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub
An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons. My son was born on St George’s Day,“ commented the English man. "So we obviously decided to call him George” “That’s a real coincidence,” remarked the Scot. “My son was born on St Andrew’s Day, so obviously we decided ...
4 men sit anxiously outside the maternity unit ...
... as they await news on their wives' who are having babies
The English one says, "My first son was born on St George's Day, so I named him George."
The Scotsman added, "My first son was born on St Andrew's Day, and I decided to name him Andrew."
The Welshman said, "My boy was ...
To Shoot or Not Shoot
A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en-route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness. The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100, the cabby agrees.
Quietly arriving home, the husband ...
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