What's a spooky ghost's favourite makeup

Ma-SCARE-ya

 

*^I'll ^show ^myself ^out...*

When it's October but there aren't any spooky jokes yet...

Never seen such boo-sheet before.

Smoke that spooky kush...

...call that Halloweed

E Minor is Spooky.

It always gives me the E B G Bs.

What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?

Skele tons!
Stay spooky my dudes

Do you want to hear a spooky joke?

That’s the spirit!

Racists Have The Mental Framework to Start Understanding Quantum Mechanics

Someone in Wuhan, China is detected to have CoViD 19. Suddenly, every Asian spanning vast oceans and continents is implied to also have it! That’s some “spooky action at a distance” (to quote Einstein).

Two cheeses are walking through the woods when they hear a spooky sound. One cheese turns to the other and shouts...

Ricotta g-ouda here!!!

The spooky makeup

What is the spookiest make-up?

Mas-Scare-AHHHH

Spooky memes at the first week of October where dead.

And now that that they're back, they are UNDEAD.

Is saying "yes yes" spooky?

Oui-ja

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What do you call it when you poop in the dark

A spooky dookie

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Two nuns are driving down a dark road country road..

All of a sudden a vampire jumps out from the trees and lands directly on the hood of the car, baring it's teeth at them.

"Quick! Show him your cross" exclaims one of the sisters.

The other nun leans out the window and screams, "Get off the fucking car you spooky bitch!"

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What's it called when you take a shit in a haunted house?

A spooky dookie

There is no ghost

While visiting a spooky historic house, a lady confided in the guide that she was terrified of ghosts and dreaded meeting one on the tour.
To reassure her, the guide told her that in all the years he had worked at the house, he had never seen a single ghost.
“And how long have you worked h...

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You're lucky it wasn't the black horse!

About a month ago I was driving to my mothers house late on a Friday evening. It was pitch black, so I had the lights on high beam, and I was driving along a country road when all of a sudden my engine cut out. So I pulled over and got out to have a look - sometimes I can fix it myself. It was very ...

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So there's this duck...

...and one day he's walkin down the street when he gets a huge craving for some donuts. So he goes to the bakery and walks in and says to the baker "hey man can i get a dozen donuts, half glazed and half boston creme?" And the baker's like "No, you can't. We don't serve ducks here." And the duck's a...

Three vampires enter a dim bar in Kent.

The barmaid asks "What'll you have gentlemen?"

Flashing his best spooky grin, the first vampire says "I'll have a glass of blood"  When she asks second vampire, he says,"Glass of blood please"  She looks at the third vampire and he smirks and says, "I'll take a glass of plasma"

She shr...

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What’s it called when a skeleton shits on your chest?

A spooky dookie ....

Halloween at an Elementary school

All the kids had showed up to school wearing costumes, and their teacher decided that she was going to give a special prize to the spookiest costume among the bunch.

Teacher: Why that's a lovely ladybug costume Susie, though it's not the spooky spirit we need here.

Susie: Aww shucks....

Three friends, Matt, Mike, and Mark, spend the night in a haunted mansion.

They bring flashlights and sleeping bags, ready for a fun, albeit spooky, night. Lo and behold, a man-eating ghost is awakened by the children's rumblings. One by one, the children are eaten whole. The first to go is Matt, unceremoniously pulled from his sleeping bag. The next is Mike, dragged from ...

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Young King Arthur was ambushed

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the ans...

A scary thing to do to your girlfriend on Halloween...

is ask her if she's going as a sumo wrestler.
Spooky!

Shout out to my friend Ryan Smith for this joke

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My apartment smells like someone just took a dump, but nobody is home...

That's some spooky shit.

Spook me once shame on me. Spook me twice...

That's 2 spooky 4 me.

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Fortune Teller

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night I fucked a girl named Penny - is that spooky or what?

Ghostly photos...

An enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom that lived in the spooky old mansion house at the edge of town.

When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, moaning and wailing and clanking chains....

What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones

If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones

If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones

If everyone was single: Game of Alones

If it was about balls: Game of Throwns

If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones

If everyone u...

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The Scary Tale of a Hitchhiker

There was this traveler who was hitchhiking on a dark night with rain and thunderstorm. He was out of the city limit waiting for a ride. Time passed but there was no car in sight on this ghostly night. The wind was blowing hard and rain was lashing his face. He was tired, hungry and miserable and co...

My friend Larry says he knows everyone...

During President Obama’s inauguration, Larry told me, "You know, Obama and I are buddies." said, "Sure you are." He said, "No, really! Just turn on your TV tonight to the Inaugural Ball. You'll see me." Sure enough, I turned on the TV that night, and there was Larry, talking to President Obama w...

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