What's a spooky ghost's favourite makeup

Ma-SCARE-ya

 

*^I'll ^show ^myself ^out...*

When it's October but there aren't any spooky jokes yet...

Never seen such boo-sheet before.

What do you call a spooky horse?

A nightmare

The spooky makeup

What is the spookiest make-up?

Mas-Scare-AHHHH

E Minor is Spooky.

It always gives me the E B G Bs.

Two cheeses are walking through the woods when they hear a spooky sound. One cheese turns to the other and shouts...

Ricotta g-ouda here!!!

Do you want to hear a spooky joke?

That’s the spirit!

Spooky memes at the first week of October where dead.

And now that that they're back, they are UNDEAD.

Girls are confusing

They say they like spooky things

But they hate when I ghost them? Idgi

Is saying "yes yes" spooky?

Oui-ja

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What's it called when you take a shit in a haunted house?

A spooky dookie

What do you call it when a ghost goes to the bathroom?

A spooky dookie

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Two nuns are driving down a dark road country road..

All of a sudden a vampire jumps out from the trees and lands directly on the hood of the car, baring it's teeth at them.

"Quick! Show him your cross" exclaims one of the sisters.

The other nun leans out the window and screams, "Get off the fucking car you spooky bitch!"

There is no ghost

While visiting a spooky historic house, a lady confided in the guide that she was terrified of ghosts and dreaded meeting one on the tour.
To reassure her, the guide told her that in all the years he had worked at the house, he had never seen a single ghost.
“And how long have you worked h...

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You're lucky it wasn't the black horse!

About a month ago I was driving to my mothers house late on a Friday evening. It was pitch black, so I had the lights on high beam, and I was driving along a country road when all of a sudden my engine cut out. So I pulled over and got out to have a look - sometimes I can fix it myself. It was very ...

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So there's this duck...

...and one day he's walkin down the street when he gets a huge craving for some donuts. So he goes to the bakery and walks in and says to the baker "hey man can i get a dozen donuts, half glazed and half boston creme?" And the baker's like "No, you can't. We don't serve ducks here." And the duck's a...

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What’s it called when a skeleton shits on your chest?

A spooky dookie ....

Three vampires enter a dim bar in Kent.

The barmaid asks "What'll you have gentlemen?"

Flashing his best spooky grin, the first vampire says "I'll have a glass of blood"  When she asks second vampire, he says,"Glass of blood please"  She looks at the third vampire and he smirks and says, "I'll take a glass of plasma"

She shr...

Halloween at an Elementary school

All the kids had showed up to school wearing costumes, and their teacher decided that she was going to give a special prize to the spookiest costume among the bunch.

Teacher: Why that's a lovely ladybug costume Susie, though it's not the spooky spirit we need here.

Susie: Aww shucks....

A scary thing to do to your girlfriend on Halloween...

is ask her if she's going as a sumo wrestler.
Spooky!

Shout out to my friend Ryan Smith for this joke

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Young King Arthur was ambushed

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.
The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the ans...

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My apartment smells like someone just took a dump, but nobody is home...

That's some spooky shit.

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Halloween election

Year 2026: "Dad, tell me a spooky halloween story."

"Once upon a time there was an old man who wore a jack-o-lantern over his head so he would always be frowning to express that he never made enough money to satisfy his greed. Everyone made jokes about how he looked like an orange smurf with...

Ghostly photos...

An enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom that lived in the spooky old mansion house at the edge of town.

When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, moaning and wailing and clanking chains....

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Fortune Teller

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night I fucked a girl named Penny - is that spooky or what?

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The Scary Tale of a Hitchhiker

There was this traveler who was hitchhiking on a dark night with rain and thunderstorm. He was out of the city limit waiting for a ride. Time passed but there was no car in sight on this ghostly night. The wind was blowing hard and rain was lashing his face. He was tired, hungry and miserable and co...

My friend Larry says he knows everyone...

During President Obama’s inauguration, Larry told me, "You know, Obama and I are buddies." said, "Sure you are." He said, "No, really! Just turn on your TV tonight to the Inaugural Ball. You'll see me." Sure enough, I turned on the TV that night, and there was Larry, talking to President Obama w...

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