UPJOKE

Splitting Up Jokes

Why are Melinda and Bill gates splitting up?

Because he is MicroSoft.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Since splitting up with my girlfriend, I’ve been feeling pretty lonely at times

Since splitting up with my girlfriend, I’ve been feeling pretty lonely at times. Last night it came to a head, lying naked and horny in bed I did something I haven’t needed to do for quite a long time. I rolled over and cuddled the wife.

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A man and woman are getting a divorce.

Concerned, the man’s best friend asks him why they are splitting up because they seemed like a great match. The man replies “honestly, what she says while we’re having sex just really turns me off lately.”

Curious, his friends asks “well what could she be saying that’s so bad?“

“Oh Pe...

I can't believe Fred and Daphne are breaking up

Yeah, I hear they're splitting up to search for clues

Freddy from scooby doo was a candidate for mayor of L.A in the 90s

He ran on splitting up gangs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, Russian, and Asian are stranded on a desert island...

... They decide in order to survive they will have to work together and plan on splitting up the day's work.

The Russian was tasked with building a hut, the American was to search for food, while the Asian was to search for supplies.

Each sets off in their separate directions.
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The woman with the tattooed chest

There was a woman with a very vain boyfriend, so for his birthday, she decided to have a portrait of his face tattooed on her left breast.

The guy is very happy, but a few months later they break it of.

The next guy is a very jealous type, and to stop his complains about her ex face on...

Three Irish fellows would meet at a bar every day after work for a pint of Guinness and a shot of Jameson.

Same time everyday at the same bar. This went on for years and as time went on the bond between these three men grew into something like a brotherhood.

Then one day as they were having their after work drinks, two of the fellows seemed really down. That's when one of the friends announced th...

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