UPJOKE

Spelling Mistake Jokes

One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage

I accidentally texted my wife “I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.”

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Monastery Spelling Mistake

A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.

So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error i...

I hate making spelling mistakes.

You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

Spelling Mistakes

I accidentally made a spelling mistake on my work. I found this out when I get screamed at for it. It is a fairly small mistake, so I don't understand why she is so upset!

Jeez, I'm a tattoo artist, not an english teacher. Calm down, we all make mistakes.

One careless spelling mistake...

... and laughter becomes slaughter.

If you think you have a grammar or spelling mistake, simply post it to Reddit and you’ll know within seconds if you made one or many.

Make sure you write "sorry for grammar mistakes English is not my first language"

A man receives a message from a neighbour.

"Sorry sir I am using your wife...day and night... When you are not present at home...In fact, much more than you do. I confess this now because I am feeling very guilty. Hope you will accept my sincere apologies." The man is down with a heart attack and admitted to the hospital

The next day ...

My doctor told me to drink less, sleep more, eat healthy & exercise everyday. So today I'm making a big change in my life.

I'm no longer going to that doctor.

Two blondes having a conversation

Blonde 1: What do you think is closer, Paris or the Moon?

Blonde 2: Are you stupid? Can you see Paris from here?

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A Chinaman and a Jew are in a racist argument...

A Chinaman and a Jew are in a racist argument when the Jew rears back and punches the Chinaman in the nose. The Chinaman says, "What was that for?"

The Jew responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor you son of a bitch."

The Chinaman looks confused and says, "Pearl Harbor was bombed by th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In my past life, I was a message delivery man in an army base

One day, I got a letter for Bravo Company, and took off to deliver it as quickly as I could. When I found them they were doing exercises in one of the yards, I walked up to the sergeant to deliver the message.

He took the letter, read it over, folded it and put it in his pocket. Then he yell...

Ther was a German, an Italian and a Redneck on death row...

and their time was up.

In a new, enlightened program, the warden gave them a choice of three ways to die.

- To be shot

- To be hanged

- To be injected with the AIDS virus.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." (Boom, he was dead instantly.)

Th...

If you ever feel as thought nobody cares about what you do

Just post something with a spelling mistake in it.

There's two typos of people in this world,

those who notice spelling mistakes, and those who don't.

A patient wakes up in recovery after his operation...

The doctor places his hand on the man's shoulder and tells him, "I have some good news and I have some bad news".

The man asks the doctor for the bad news first.

"I am afraid we have had to amputate both your legs.." says the doctor

The man is naturally upset and shocked at the ...

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A taxi driver goes home after a very long shift.

On his way home he sees a very drunk man that can’t even stay on his feet. “Can’t let that poor guy go home alona like this” he puts him in the passenger sit, asks him where he lives and starts driving to his house while the drunk guy sleeps. On their way there the taxi driver sees a women who’s hot...

I bet that if Arnold Shwartsnegger dies his gravestone will say 'I will be back'

Sorry if there are spelling mistakes

Dear Apple: please stop autocorrecting things like “he HAD gone camping” and “he HAS gone camping”

Spelling mistakes are one thing, but don’t assume you know what tents I wanted to use.

A pair of Arms, a pair of Legs and a head have a swimming race...

All contestants dive in, the arms take the lead with the legs just behind, however the head has sunk to the bottom. The arms eventually win, with the legs in second.

They recover the head and they asked what happened? The head replied "I've been training for 6 months using my ears and just b...

A man walks into a bar

He sat down next to a grumpy looking guy.

He asks:“What’s the deal? What happend?”

The guy replies:” It has been a rough time for me, you know. My wife left me and took the house, the car, all my money and the kids, so i just lost my job and my friends don’t support me.”

The fir...

Sister Marry was truly a religious woman...

Besides for her duties as a nun, she was also very active in various hospitals visiting sick patients and taking care of all their needs.

So it was no surprise that one day when she ran out of gas, the only container she could find to put the gas into was a bedpan.

Sister Marry happily...

A little rabbit is running through the forest

when he sees a bear and a wolf smoking a joint. Not knowing what a joint is, he approaches them.

"What are you doing guys?" the rabbit asks. "Smoking a joint." they said, "Wanna try?". "I can't. Mrs. rabbit is waiting for me." answers the rabbit. "Come on, rabbit. It's gonna be fun.". Rabbit ...

3 guys go on ballon trip

Thre man go on ballon for a trip. First one takes a bag of apples with him. Second a sixpack of beer. Third a bomb. And off they go. After a while ballon starts falling so to reduce the weight they decide to throw of things they brought with them. First man throws his bag of apples of the ballon....

A Mother, Father and Their Son Went to the Zoo

One day a mother, father and their son went to the zoo. Whilst walking along, they came to a pair of monkeys mating. The boy looks to his mum and says "Mum, what are they doing?" in which the mum replies, "They're making cakes dear".

They continue walking and they come to a pair of hippos mat...

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The Camel

A man was riding on his camel through the desert. He was riding for quite some time and as days passed by he got kind of horny. All alone in the desert miles away from all civilisation he thought that he might aswell take the camel. He stopped, made a pile of sand and stood behind the camel and just...

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